Someone said once "Don't hang your dirty laundry in public" or something to that effect. WHY you would hang dirty laundry, instead of clean laundry to dry, is beyond me- but what I can tell from that statement is... there's no need to talk about anything too personal. Welcome to the diary of generic girly thoughts.
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2005-06-21 - 7:40 p.m. - synopsis

crazy things a-kilter.
just cos i don't take the time to vamp up something doesn't mean i'm not creative. motherfucker. that was my only gift.
ever just lose yourself? yeah. this weekend- i think my mind went back a year or so.
then. coming back here. and seeing him and those roses. and telling him
and not being able to feel anything
why?
and smoking, like a chimney, i've never smoked like that. we sat in his jeep and smoked. for so long. and didn't talk.
it wasn't cheating.
and i didn't have to tell him.
but didn't he deserve to know?
batman was a horrible movie, we left.

"Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon.."

over and over again in my head, I always wondered if i'd ever have an issue that related to that song. and there it was.
matt. freiji.
matt freiji who randomly brought me a dozen roses. matt freiji who plays with my foot and says "here- is a liz ankle. and a liz toe"...matt freiji who kisses me on the nose and says "you...are my little girl"
which is weird.
but...very cute.
i told him that when he cheated on me- i thought, but his lips are mine. not in the sense of OWNERSHIP... but. I never want him to feel the way I did, betrayed. He said it felt weird for him to kiss me, and he would have to forget about what happened-
but he never will, i never did.
until now.
this is one of those things where you have to lean backwards against each other and just trust.
and now, hillary and i are off to have more fun with each other, then matt. my two and only loves.

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