as a student at parson's school of design. you can study in paris.
a lady- with a design degree from savannah and is now attending PSU- came through my line at work the other day. she told me a lot about parson's- how it's the more creative school, versus FIT which is more technical. I melted.
dream dream dream!!!!
I want to go to Parson's so badly. I'm always holed up in my room...sewing...making weird things, making irrational things, being creative and expanding my ability. this has become more than a hobby to me.
marc fucking jacobs.
donna karan.
Narciso Rodriquez.
Proenza Schouler.
these are people who were nobody and nothing, such as myself. just had this little dream and some big ideas. and got into parsons.
and now look where they are.
i am obsessed with thoughts of my future. i don't think about people anymore, i don't talk about people. i don't really even talk TO people. i don't worry about what people are doing. i have hillary who i know has my back and i've got hers so i don't need to worry about what's up with us or are we cool or is she talking shit cos she's not. i don't need to think about boys cos i have one who's always wonderful and i don't need to look.
i talked to both maria and andrea today, and it was awesome talking to both of them. they're so much like me, they both have their boyfriends who are their best friends, they have their interests and they are independant. maria is at MIT right now- learning and seeing if what she is doing is something she'd be interested in after higshchool. I talked to andrea about art and how we love micheal's. it's really cool to know that there are people out there like me- people who don't worry about whether anyone is saying this or that, because, words are exactly what they are- words.
i do miss hillary though. i miss my female companion. it's just nice to have someone to goof off with and go crazy and pig out and be girly.
i might hang out with anna tomorrow night though-ya know, see a chick flick. it should be fun, and i haven't seen her in a long time.
and i saw michelle at baby's tonight when i was with matt! it was great to see her, she's such a nice girl.
i kind of like having sparratic friends like that, ones you're not too close to and won't be calling you constantly- but every so often you'll see them around and catch up.
i've just...with all this time alone, i've had so much time to catch up with myself. all of this time, with so few friends that i don't need to worry if i'm losing any or if anyone is talking about me.
i have all of this time to think about sewing, and what will i say in my parson's interview? what about pratt- is it any good? do i even want to go to drexel?
matt and i talk about so much. we were laying in my bed tonight, with the only light coming from candles on my bedstand- and we talked about college. and south carolina. and we made shadows with our hands in the shape of things from the candle light. we talked about people in general- the mentality of people here, people in south carolina, and people in pittsburgh.
this happens so often now, where we just lounge and talk to each other. it gives me a deep hapiness knowing that i am that close to him, and that he is close to me as well.
also tonight. we were going to set off firework-things outside but it was raining, so we sat on the wicker loveseat on the porch and did sparklers. then i laid my head in his lap and he plaid with my hair. there was a certain natural calm from the rain and being with him. it was cool out, but not too cold. just right. the rain fell steadily and we smiled softly at each other. his eyes sparkled although there was no sufficient light.
it's the small things that make nights memorable. we didn't do anything exciting tonight. i can barely remember some nights where we actually did something and it turned out not too great. but there have been so many nights, when we've just sat around in each other's company and made it amazing.
"hey you..miss blue. i think about you as true. hey you...miss blue. i fell in love with you. hey you. miss blue. i hate it when you cry. hey you...miss blue...i hate it when you say goodbye.."

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