the show's done.

i'm in pittsburgh.

it went well.

kind of.

a few things could have been changed, but that's alright. i'm happy for what happened.

now i have lots of schoolwork to do that i completely ignored. good thing i don't have a math or science class, then i'd really be screwed.

matt and hillary are both leaving over christmas break so that will give me time to completely get my portfolio together for parson's. i've been debating whether i want to go there or not...but i know i do. today my mother, brother and i went to a bookstore in the southside. I went to the section of art books, and read a picture book called "Thee Incestuous Sisters".

It was amazing. A culture. It ripped me away from what was real in that moment and still does when I think about it. It's expensive though,- I don't normally want books- but I want this one. It's the kind of book that I love to digest, to think about, to go back and forth through its pages, reading the bits of text and viewing the 80 illustrations. It's amazing how much emotion can be evoked through those seemingly simple images.

that artistic world, its quietness, how subtle it is, .... you have to feel that you are a part of it.

going to penn state for art would be completely pointless. through my eyes- it's like going to oklahoma to surf... there is no real art culture in state college! it's stifling! emfjkndsgjkbfbdkcx!!!!!

i want to live in new york, or atleast reside there for a while- i want to go to chicago, where the author/artist of TIS lives, i want to study in paris my junior year through parson's.

and everyone has these dreams. i'm not alone in wanting to leave state college, wanting to do something greater than a liberal arts soccer mom degree.

but i am one of the few who actually will. i know this because it's been proven- every year, the list of who's going where in the little lion newspaper, isn't it something like 75% of us go off to penn state? and to study WHAT? who the hell knows exactly, it always results in a B.A., and then before you know it, you're in the P.T.A.
hey, don't get me wrong, kids are just grand. there's just something so....boring. about that. to me. liberal arts, going and working somewhere for someone doing something in a cubicle, meeting someone at a bar, dating, poppin out babies and hauling them around a suburban town in a minivan.

COOL!!!!....no.

i don't really know what i want. just not that. a sex and the city life is impossible really, no one ACUTALLY lives like that...

but I can dream, right?

ugh. my brother just went to the bathroom and it smells bad down here. we have no cell phone service cos we're out in the middle of nowhere so i don't get to talk to hillary or matt. grr. cartoons with teddy.

and also i got a book today, the biography of coco chanel. so. i get to read that.

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