Okay, so much has been happening, I feel like restricting the random people that look at this diary.

So, screw the Matt thing. I don't want to hurt Chris, because I do still care about him and I shouldn't make fun of him like I do!

I don't know about this whole thing.

I might still like him. My 'head chunk' is taking over, slowly but steadily and eating all remorse and just whatever i thought was weird or confusing is hopefully going away

but I don't like him as much as i used to

and It's kind of sad, I've had this thing for him for a pretty long time.

Maybe I do still like him, but Ivan-

let me tell you Ivan. that making me, telling me 'get over it' well that's what made it worse

it makes it worse

stop teling me to get over him, it's not helping at ALL okay? let my mind decide what it wants to do, don't make it do something then I'll be stuck with the decision YOU made, how's THAT for my sanity?

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