i belong to too many diary rings!!

there is no way I'm giving up bean, life, or funky

i like Aphrocks too

and anime babes

maybe ill leave baby-divas...but still, i think it's cute

make up junkie as just awesome. how could i leave make up junkie?

and harry potter, i love harry potter!

and the makeoutclub!!

and musicians...i sing, does that count?

laa!

on to other affairs. One of my friends smokes, and she said I just didn't get her addiction. After frustrating attempts at trying to get her to quit she made a very good analogy. she said "I'm addicted to smoking like you are to Chris"

and then i thought, wow, she really is addicted! But, Chris isn't giving me cancer or pnemonia, he's not killing me and sending hazardous chemicals into my body. I wanted to say that, I really did, but then she said, "He hurts you mentally," and she was right. He does hurt me, all the angry words he says, they always play back in my mind like a broken record... and the angry e-mails he sends me, I can nevr delete them, though they make me want to cry and scream every time I read them. I haven't talked to him for over a month, and I haven't seen him for two months, but I want to talk to him. I want to see him. I really miss him, but from what I hear he is changing, turning into a little Marcandy. That's not good, not good.

But still, I think if i was smoking..... I don't love smoking, i love chris.

I'm hanging on to him for that reason only. Smoking, if I hated it enough, I could quit.

mind over matter!

oh no

just got word, he asked someone out today

oh no omg this isnt good

.I'm going to scream then die then throw up then cry

.

.

.

.

.

.

.AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN HER!!! DAMN HER, WHOEVER IT IS!!

IF HE HAS A NEW GF THEN I SWEAR I'M NOT COMING BACK UNTIL THEY BREAK UP!!

someone help me please.

i feel so hopeless

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