I'm going to be doing some reflecting today, THEN I'll do updates

~I move to upper saint clair in second grade. My real life as i know it begins to unfold....

~I like john Boccinni (eewwwwww) and everyone hates me in my class.... no idea why

~second grade is over. third starts

~I met emily and Maria in third grade

~I saw John Boccini (this was also in third grade) in the library. He looked at me and I almost fainted.

~I get placed in Mrs.Cross's room, along with Emily, Maria, and our new friend Cassie

~ we have all these wacky inside joke, like, 'paulobird' and paper clip. the one that stands out most is:

'ice cream fun in a cone or a cup, play-doh ice cream playshop, scoop the fun up' emily made it up, and we all laughed

~I adopt crabs from Mr. Fee, and they all end up dying

~I got placed in Martinez/gwennap for fifth grade with absolutely no one I know, all Streams and Eisenhower people (the other elemntary schools) (I went to baker) and all the baker kids that WERE there were retards. Like Dylan O'briend. WHAT a jackass.

~Marc Marc Marc. I meet him and fall instantly into- well, er, 'like'

~fifth grade ends, feeling like a rerun of second grade. I was reallly unpopular

~Sixth grade: i get into MOSAIC, desitned to be the best schoolyear of my life.

~Maria Prus (mar15241) (o yea, and for all of you, I'm 'person 2' in her diary) Emily DiSalle (Emilotchi) Jamie Harshman and Jordan Perry were a *clique* and everything was perfect.

~Oddly and randomly enough, for no outstanding reason Ms. Fullerton moves Laura and puts ME across from Marc, just like we used to be in fifth grade.

~Marc meets Jordan. Instant love on both parts, and I make it my duty to ""hate her for the rest of my life""

~They go out for a while, then break up. I begin to hate Jordan less and less,

~CRINGE eew CRINGE - I get a crush on Adam Herbaugh..... EWEWEWEW

~The MOSAIC musical! yaay! I have a solo, and so does Jordan, and so does Tracey, another friend.

~Jamie and I work in the art room together. Talking to Chris (yes, MY chris) (the one I write about) And we say 'oh, two girls think you're cute! and giggle. and he says 'who? really?' and actually having no clue! It was funny, but I still liked Adam. (Chris was always cute)

~Adam is not talking to me.... loong story, but it's really unimportant. So i think, hmm, who will go out with me to make Adam jealous? and my mind, oddly enough, floats to Chris, because we were friends by then.

~I try to make him like me, but slip up and end up making me like him.

~I find Jamie's notebook which disses me in almost every way possible in a convo with Jenny Malarkey. (Didn't know if she was my friend or not) (huhu i guess not)

~ We get in a whole big fight, our friendship goes kaputt

~Chris and I are getting closer, though. I remember almost every recess we would play tetherball, and just flirt. I loved it.

~ Maria, Emily and I are of course, still friends. Maria was the best person in the whole entire world, and we would always do stuff together or with groups of friends. Emily was funny and sarcastic (in a good sort of way) Jordan was always nice, and we were becoming good friends

~Deer Valley!!!!!! By then the homerooms were really screwed up, and EVERYONE was in the other one! Maria, Emily, Jordan, Chris, even marc and corey! That's how I met Sean, he was in my homeroom, but he's kind of a retard now so screw that.

Deer Valley KICKED ASS..... It was the best. My group had Emily, Maria, Jordan, and a bunch of populars. the first time around, before they changed the groups, Chris was in my group but we were fighting then ;-)

~ A hell of a lot happens to bring everyone closer... Me, Maria, Emily, Chris, Jordan, We were all like best friends.....

~ skating session. (7-10 pm) at BP rink. Chris, Jamie, and others are there. I was skating around with chris and we were talking about how I think he's cute. I'm like 'so now you know what I think of you, what do you think of me?' and I expected him to be like 'cool'... but, he went on to say 'good skater, nice person... and I am almost certain his last word was 'beautiful' but he kind of droned out and looked at the ground, leaving me to change the subject to eminem and how they didn't have 'slim shady' yet at the rink.

Later on that night 'I turn to you' by Christina Agulera came on .. and he said 'go away' so I di, and when I was about halfway around the rink I heard over the loudspeaker 'this song is dedacated to Chris and Liz' and I almost died. Seriously... i didn't know who did it, but chris skated over and smiled, and I knew it was him ;-) Later on (like a few days later) He told Andy that it was just a 'friendly thing' and ... who knows if it was...?

~ We start our monolauges/plays and scenes. Everyone does it for the parents and only a few signed up to preform on the arts festival thingy stage. the groups/monolouges that did it were: Me, as the wallflower, Emily, as, er, it's ... i forget, Chris Corey and Adam (All former or present crushes at the time) and some other group or monolouge I think.... but I don't remember

~ a lot of stuff happens... it's all not important....

~ The zoo field trip. Whitney and Chris like, peck their lips silly in the back of the bus, and end up going out

They stay together until about July, right after I have my party. Jamie had a party, too, but Maria and I weren't invited. We went to the mall and made up stupid inside jokes, like "seven thirty"

~ But anyway, at Sean's pool party (Maria and I are the only girls there) Chris, corey, Sean (duh) and this other kid are all there.

~ Chris openly announces to the world that he dumped whitney, then goes on to tell the story. Maria thinks he likes me, and I smile shyly (heehee! jk) And say 'no, he does'nt' though I knew maria was right

~ Maria's part at Kennywood. now THERE's a perty to remember.. chris, Sean, Corey, Emily, me, Maria (duh)Regen and Jordan were all there

~ Seventh grade starts, my homeroom rocks. Jordan, Chris, and some others are in it (including Dylan obrien, the ugly fat ass)

~ A lot of crazy stuff happens, but it's unimportant. Maria, Emily, Jordan and I are still friends.. I have some new friends, too, like Liz Vauder

~ October 10--(yes, i remember the date) Allie asks Chris out for me. By then Chris and I were really good friends, and I remember him coming over to me in LA with this cute little sheepish face on, saying 'are you really serious?'

~October 16- he refuses, he accepts, he refuses, he accepts!! yea!! Except he wanted me to kind of keep it a secret, but I was so happy i didn't care! I told Maria and Em, and since Connor and Jordan were there at the time, they were the only ones that knew

~ everything is picture perfect ...

~My party... (this is really dumbbbb...) but we were just kind of sitting close on the couch talking.. and he said I was obsessive like Jamie, I almost died! And i made up this TOTAL BS about me 'living for the moment' ... HA! If any of you on DL really know me at all, all I think about is eating, sleeping and guys!

~ december 1---The activity where we got in a fight-- it started out ake but then ended real. It scared the shit out of me because I thought 'ya know what, we're gonna break up! I'm going to lose him!!!' and it was the worst thing in the world

~ Emily and Maria and I got on three-way and called him, seeing if him and sean could go to the movies that night. (it was friday) and chris repetativly said 'liz is mean, liz is mean' but he didn't know i was on the phone, and ... omg i was dying seriously. He hung up, and i bitched, then we called sean. sean couldnt go so we called chris back t tell him. about halfway through the convo, i interrupted and said the words i will regret for a very long time 'chris, we're over'

~And he agreed. the next day I got the 'six reasons' in my inbox, causing me to just.... break down. I didn't really cry, I held it in.... I just stared into the sky blankly and thought....

~ a week later he finds out I still like him, and ignores me for quite some time.

~The social. He says he'll dance with me, and last dance he's just standing there, trying to hide that oh-so-familiar sheep look with a confident mask. He stands there, looking petrified and at the same time annoyed, then begins to walk away. I grab for him, accidentally scratching his cheeck with my fake nail.

oops.

He gets really mad and walks away. ten seconds later i turn around and see him dacing with some frizzy-haired eigth grader. He's looking straight at me, because he knows he just hurt me.

I try to hide my tears as I run for a bathroom (Yes, I "pulled a connor")

I go in the handicapped room and just cry. I cry all the tears I should have for losing him, I cry all the tears for losing a boyfriend and one of the best friends I'd ever had... It hurt so much, so deep, and I was pounding my hand on the wall when Maria walked in, singing-

'ice cream fun in a cone or a cup...'

We went outside where everyone was being picked up. emily had already left, and I was still bawling. I couldn't stop. I tried so hard, but the tears just kept ripping down my face as I felt the knife fly from Chris's hand and rip out my heart.

jordan's mom asked what was wrong, and she said 'the pop was bad'... haha, it's an inside joke to this day.

~moving on..... a few weeks after the social Chris and i didn't talk much,

~ A few weeks after THAT we were good friends again. I still loved him to death, but I didn't tell anyone.

~ Maria's new year's eve party! She makes the mistakes of sending the invites via e-mail and only Sean checks his email and gets it. Chris and corey never know about it, ao only Emily, Maria and I were at the party. It was actually very fun, we talked about guys half the night, and about some other stuff.. 'kennywood, LOL' and 'biggerboobsthanme' hehe

~ not much happens, people begin to go skating again, and my time to move draws nearer.

~January 26, 2001- My last day at the fort. I just spontaniously begin to cry in German, and in LA. Chris has to leave early, but i say bye, he says 'uh, bye' then walks away. I see everyone at the lockers, and give liz, jordan, mara, emily, everyone a hug. Even chris, he walks away leaving his locker open.

~ A week later we come back, i'm at skating. Standing outside the opening to the ice, (i wasnt skating) I just, uh, stood there, and chris walked out I was like 'chris! hi!' and he looked over, with the sheep face, and we talked. He said 'you've been gone for a week... its so weird' and the whole night when he was off ice we talked anfd laughed and, hehe, flirted like old days...

~ many things happened over the course of the next few months, shakespear, Regen's party... that was the last time I've seen Chris ... I called him April 5th, not realizing his 13th birthday was April 6th (hehe) he talked for a little while, and havent seen or heard from him since

I'm hopefully going to se him this weekend

~OKAY so now you all know why i am the way that I am ver chris. It's more that just a crush.... I hope everyone realizes that~~

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