tonght was blah

I saw that guy from players who I originally thought was hot. talked to him. haha.

mr lockhaven man is coming to the party tomorrow i think:-D makes me tres happy.

It's crazy how much fireworks make you think. I was watching them, and thinking about how weird it was... how weird I am, when it's so chaotic on the outside, that's only when I find some peace in my mind, but when everything is calm... I go ballistic.

I guess it's just one of those unusual things about me, everyone has weird aspects like that.

Does anyone out there understand why someone would talk horrible shit about one person, then act like they're good friends? I don't get it. At all. BECAUSE when I don't like people, I'll be nice to them, but I won't invite them places and I won't go out of my way to care about them and ask them things and talk to them and whatever.

So why would someone go TO THOSE DISTANCES to be so fake? I don't get it.

I guess I shouldn't stress it, you know? Because... what can I do? So. Who cares.

So yeah, tomorrow is party, I'll probably get shit talked by people who pretend to be my friends... but I won't say a word about them.

I dunno, I'm confused by people like that.

and that's why I have Andrea and Lauren... because I think I'd die without them, haha.

I dunno. Lately I've had this feeling in my stomach that's like... it's impaling. It feels like I have to throw up, but, not... I don't know. I normally get that when I'm around people who I know will use whatever I say against me later, as if I've been convicted of something, which is why I was so quiet early on today. Near the end I was like "Fuck it" and gave it up, cuz who cares.

But.... I always have the things to be happy for, like my good friends, my family, EZ Mac, the gym to run off the EZ Mac, and that Reilly on Out There because he's really cute:-)

Anyway. I'm out

Liz

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