It's like ripping off a band-aid.

It hurts- expecially if you try to do it slowly.

You know it has to come off. It's been there for way longer than it should have been.- and it's starting to cause problems. You know the ramifications- it will rip hairs off, maybe chafe your skin and cause your eyes to tear up.

But the wound needs air to heal. It just festers in its hurt indifference as the band-aid stifles and controls it.

So you rip.

really fast.

it's gone.

your skin stings.

your eyes tear.

hair rips out.

but with time, the skin and the wound begin to heal. The hair gros back and there are no tears left in your eyes, whether they had come from the ripping OR the occurences that caused the wound in the first place.

And, you're happy.

No wound, no band-aid.

You forget it ever happened.

***

I hate comparing a friendship to that. But you know. It's how I feel about it now.

friendship? yea whatever.

***

but this weekend was so much fun. Hillary stayed with me because her parents went out of town- we had the most kick ass time ever...we lived it up like no other.

and I met this guy

who is awesome-

-see-

it's like-

I told myself a few weeks back-

alright...i'm..going to be single. and life is good, i'm happy with being alone- i WANT to be alone.

and i did, flirted

and i said..alright, i'll be single until someone AWESOME comes along, someone WORTH IT

and i thought

ahahaha

like that would ever happen.

and then it did

and he's awesome. ..he's so, ah, awesome

but see, as most things with my life-ha- there is a CATCH.

he's going to turkey on the 17th and not coming back for a year.

YEAH.

how AWESOME.

so i guess i'll just miss him for a while then remember i love being single.

kinda sucks.

nick roberts and i are talking. i'll probably always have feelings for him. ha, i'm so psyched i can write about him, or anyone, now- cos my friends are awesome and don't get bitchy and people if i "associate with them"...they don't think they're "above people" and walk like there's a stick up their asses around school.

ANYway-

nick... he's a horrible and really good person all in one. We've been on and off all year, i just never really told anyone for fear of losing a friend that i never really had anyway. well...nick. he's a good kisser. i liked kissing him a lot. i'll probably miss that. we're so plutonic now...like, we can talk about his girls and my guys and it's cool. i feel really close to him because we have SUCH a history- and you know..i hurt him..he hurt me.. it's just... bad and cool like that.

yea i'll always like him in a way.

school sucks

meeting perfect guys who are leaving for a year sucks.

my friends rock.

oh hey...this perfect guy

was the same one who i saw in the hall one day

and he was like

"hey"

and i was like

:who the fuck are you: and gave him a weird look and walked away

this is so frustrating AHHHH.

ha jen told nick off.

mason..last night..

i was like

"i hear you have a lot of EF buddies"

and he says

"yea, wanna join the list?"

who SAYS that

...

i helped, with jessie, to pack hillarys new awesome house today!

tomorrow im hanging out with mr perfect after school. i wanna put stupid love song lyrics in my info and just..whine about it. but what can you do, you know, it's just my luck for something like this to happen.

i need to forget he exists.

and then go look at the link of some hot girl morgan sent me. ahahah.

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