I'm hooommmmmmmme!!!!

Okay, first off- my dreams lately. They were so... scary, and of course half about Tim, but not the usual we-get-bak-together-everyone's-happy thing, because that's not been on my mind. I know we're over and there's nothing I can do. Friday night I was pregnant with his baby, and I remember standing there watching him walk away because he didn't give a damn. I was in a pink sweater with tan buttons. I remember laying there with my mother next to me, and some of my friends. God... was I afraid.

Saturday night we were on a field trip for school. Ivan and Abbie and Peter and all of them were there, and of course so was Tim. We were sitting at a table and talking and he said "I'm perfect" in this snotty tone and went on to talk about it, I remember I was arguing against that and so was everyone else, I said like "you're far from it, you sonovabitch," and he raises his hand and snottily says "Teacher, this girl insulted my family".. it was just so weird. I remember some stuff before that, but ... ehh.

was it Friday that I got a leather jacket? Yea, friday... I got an AMAZING leather jacket from Burlington... Saturday I visited Rachelle and we walked down to Connor's house. It was really fun, I haven't seen him since what, June? We got to talking about just everything, but Rachelle and I left around 4:00 and got back to Galaxy circle around 4:10. We looked at the cheesy paint job they did on my old house, and sat down on a stump between her yard and 1161's (my old house's) yard, and talked. It was one of those "Remember the time when...?" talks.

Rachelle: Remember the time when I fell down the hill and hit a tree on my snowtube and my dad came out yelling without anything on his feet and you were crying?

Me: Yea!!! Remember then times when we built beanie baby forts here and we left them overnight in the snow once and they were all frozen together?

Rachelle: omg, yes!!! Remember the time when we drug that old slide from the playplace thing and brought it to the RLA (Rachelle, Liz, Amanda) Secret Spot? It never worked...

Me: I know, that was so retarded. And my parents were looking for that slide, too. :we both laugh:, Remember when you parents banned you from talking to me for two weeks? I was so sad, and that created problems for Amanda, too. Why did they do that again?

Rachelle: No idea, I think you did something... :looks down big hill: Remember when we tried rollerblading down that hill and I fell and I cried and you brought back a band aide but it was so small and my cut was huge!!?

Me: Yea!!! How old were we, like, 9? You were really hurt. Remember when our parents promised us that sleepover and we never got it??? They owe us!

Rachelle: YEA!!! Amanda, we'd always gang up against her and blame everything on her when it was our fault, all because she was youngest.

Me: Aw, I know. I wish she was here. I remember that fight when you two were calling each other names like "PrinCess" and "dumbhead" and I sided with you... hehe..

Rachelle: I remember that sort of, wasn't she sitting by her bike in your yard and we ran away?

Me: Yeah!!

and it went on like that for almost an hour, then we went inside her house and her aunt and uncle were there. We talked about the Harry Potter movie for a while, then my parents came and I went to Matt's (Teddy's friend) house with them. We stayed there for a while then went to Eat 'n Park. I hadn't had anything to eat but cereal that day, so I ate my cheesebuger and fries pretty fast.

After that (it was about 8, but it felt like 10), we went to the Southside house (Ula and Tim were then away at Niagra) and we all got ready to go to sleep. I read one of the porn stories in one of Tim's porn magazines because I was bored. How many words can one possibly make up for penis and vagina? I should have taken tallies. I've never heard the word "quim" before, but no I have.

Anyhow, I slept. And slept and slept until around 11 the next morning. Took shower. Got ready. Same old same old.

it's like 11:30 now and I'm still updating.

We went to Bostom Market and got dinner for 5, but it shortchanges people now and only gives you a few hunks of meatloaf and chicken instead of a full chicken and full meatloaf. Anyhow, the four of us got back into the Chevy Lumina and started for Washington County. Halfway there we reaize that Boston Market did not give us the cranberries and 5 cornbreads we ordered with our meal. Dad calls on cell phone and complains, and we get free dinner fo six sent in mail. Anyhow, arrive at Grandma's house and sit around, Teddy and I go on walk, blah blah. The electricity was out but it came back on and we sat around and (oy, the Steelers won!) and Dad turns on the other game, Giants vs. Raiders. We leave a bit before half time and go see Grandpa. The crazy man has a visitor (all was good and quiet), and we talked. Turn on TV and are transfixed by game for a bit (Giants losing horribly! 20something to 3!). Mom came and around 5:45ish Teddy, Dad and I departed for State college. Mom is staying with Grandma to help clean, she's coming home Tuesday. On the ride back I though about random stuff like the whole time. I love the song by Nickleback. They're way amazing. "This is how you remind me..."

Okay, so now that I've updated on events, it's time for random thoughts. Oh, Alex asked me to the dance through Conor. I don't want to go with Alex. I know Alex not. I know Will too much. Why do I still sort of like Tim, he's a jackass and he's mean and rude and not nice and he hates me. Do I find that attractive, or... is this what I think I deserve?? Scary.

It's all in the way Chris treated me.

I don't want to get into it.

Damn, and I was only 12/13ish.

Law day is on Friday along with the dance, I'm wearing..... Black skirt, either black sandals with small chunk heel or black boots with big ole heel, black shirt and red jean jacket to school and black leather to dance at night. :-D. I'm gonna look either a. really cool and trendy b. normal or c. stupid.

a or b will work.

I am sooo milking this entry for more than it is worth.

Got an 86% at naked reviews. All of this is leading up to my Critique soon from diary Critic. Sorry no text links. But, wish me luck. They're tough, I tells yah.

Anyway, talk to you later.

(_iz

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