sometimes, when i�m fed up with my life, reality, everything that is going on, I stop, close my eyes and think of things I wish would happen. Like, I�m a famous pop star like Britney Spears. Marc and Emily finally respect me. Flyer finally likes me. People all over the world like me, and my face is all over magazines. I imagine what the lyrics of my songs will be, I imagine shooting a music video, and being interviewed by Carson Daly on MTV. I imagine interviews with all sorts of magazines and web sites and TV shows and radio shows. I see myself smiling, and being happy, looking beautiful like Jennifer Lopez but like a diva like Christina Agulera and so hot like Britney Spears but timeless like dido. I imagine going back to USC, people see me different, I�m no longer a nobody, everyone likes me. Even Marc, who was always the cause of my problems. I smile and laugh and tell about how i opened for Nsync then did an interview with YM magazine....

�Liz are you okay?� someone asks. I jerk back to reality, and wonder when I�m going to stop procrastinating on my home ec project, record my German weather words, find my English book and then clean my room.

again.

Moaning, I close my eyes and all of a sudden i�m a famous supermodel. Walking down the runway at a small show, a trooper from Elite sees me. They pull me aside and say I have good looks for their agency. I smile brightly as she takes measurements, and informs me that they are all perfect. I. again smile warmly as everything seems to move like a bur and I am on the cover of TeenPeople magazine. Walking down runways in Paris is second nature to me, and photoshoots in England are a pastime. I�m back in the states, and I see flyer. his mouth opens to say the words i�ve wanted to hear for my whole life, when

�Liz, are you sure you�re okay?� that same person asks. i nod, then remember the dishes need to be put away and the bathrooms need cleaning and the cat litterbox is smelly,...

I roll my eyes before closing them, and I�m standing on a desolate street with flyer. �I love you� he says, and means it. I smile, and as soon as I am about to return the favor, a car comes by driving at mach 3 and runs flyer over. I scream in anguish but that helps the situation so much I may as well throw water on a grease fire. He is dead, I realize, as the world splits in two then explodes.

�Liz seriously, I need you to call (insert name here) and find out about (insert school activity here),� I sluggishly sit up and attempt at grabbing the phone, but it falls onto the floor and I am forced to bend over and pick it up. I call so-and-so, find out whatever info I had to, then,....

I am floating in blue mist, images with no meaning to me, yet hold such a sigificance in the world to others,.... There is no sound, but my ear drums ring. I break out in a cold sweat as everything blurs. My face is covered with someone else's tears, my arms are covered with someone else's blood, I silently imgaine myslef screaming, or, am i screaming while imagining myself sitting silently? My senses are all disconnected and my brain is making no sense whatsoever of the dimension that lays before my blind eyes. I spin and spin and spin..................

Stopping, I find myself infront of a stairwell. It is so far up, and despite my fear of heights i begin to ascend it.. Step after step, breath after breath, timeless minute after full-fledged hour I push up the steps. My back and shoulders ache, and my heart cries out 'stop! turn around; your life isn't going to be what you perceive it will be! but my head overlaps that and shouts 'go! if you must, force yourself, get up the stairs! I don't care if it kills you, go!' I sense a presence behind me, and as I excel farther and farther upwards it gets farther and farther away. At the top

there is nothing

I look down, and I see a face.

It is covered in fog, but when it clears, I recognize the face. It is Flyer, and he his laughing at me. For what? I was so disillusioned, I did have hope that something better would be at the top, and now that i think of it you�re at the bottom, flyer. You were there all along, and I, being such a stupid fool, didn�t realize it. I turn from the face and begin to plunge down the stairs.

They fade away,

like to my dreams and hopes and hapiness they fade away.

I cry a thousand tears looking down at the perfect life I once knew. missing it. I miss USC.

I love USC

Missing flyer

I love you, flyer.

But it cannot be, for everything faded away,......

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