was just shopping downtown state college.

It's actually pretty cool, I like the stuff.

We went into A and f to gt Ari and Allie gifts for their Bat Mitzvah tonight. I really don't want to go. Not because I don't like ari and allie, they're the nicest people in the whole world, but I'm afraid I'll be a dork, and I'll be the wallflower, all alone in the corner. I don't want to be there and humiliate myself!

A lot of popular people-well, all the popular people are going to be there.

and a few normal people

I don't want to go

I want to stay home where it's safe and no one cares if i act like an idiot. i mean, I can't help it.

I'll try my hardest just to act normal, but what is normal?

Is it talking, or acting the same way everyone else is? or is it dressing, and looking 'cool'?

or should i just be myself?

but then again, who am I? AM I a dork? or am I 'cool'?

I reall wanna stay home! But allie and ari would feel bad if i told them that, so I'm going.

I wish we all lived on computers, I can write....

I'm like one of those people on those commercials that has social anxiety disorder- just looking out the window and wishing i had a friend.

A real friend

Like maria used to be, jordan and emily

REAL friends

Well, um, er, and weird noises with my mouth and so on are BANNED tonight.

I'm ...i ...

just scared

no, petrified

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