Went to the mall today with mom to buy a halter to go with my oh-so-revealing bathing suit top for the maroon team pool party.

I'm not saying I'm fat, but I have my mind all tweaked. Every time I think of eating ANYTHING my stomach all of a sudden lurches and I feel so fat, though I know I'm not. I only work out to get muscles, my bathing suit is a two piece and I want abs so much!

Today, every time I ate something I got this really random stomach ache. And a message was sent to my head "oooh girl, this means one hundred more curl-ups!!" and it really bothered me, because I wish I was younger again, when I could eat whatever and didn't care.

my butt looked kind of hangy and, erm, 'large' in my bathing suit, and mom said 'not to worry dear! You just have a J-lo butt"

then i told her of the B94 story about J-lo and her *edible panties*, that it would take 5 days to eat them

Oh My.

My poor behind!

And now my back feels hangy, because ... I don't know.... I know, because of my body type (tall and lanky) people always say : 'you're not at all fat!' but No one notices the extra stuff on my stomach, back, legs and butt until you throw a string bikini on me--- oh and another factor about how well I look in a bathing suit, seriously hoping no one reads this

That Thing. If it doesn't start by the 25th then I'll have to fake sick

I hate That Thing. I wish I was a guy.

(The pool party is June 1)

Also, I'm like, white! I'm so fair it's disgusting!! I look unhealthy! I'll bring some tanner stuff to the pool and put it on, it makes you look a LITTLE darker.

Now to do curl-ups, hoping for the abs that will possibly come

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