I'mma doin' things mah way, iz my way, my way or the highway...

Limp is incredible, and so are 30.00 best buy gift cards, and friends who will give you a ride to best buy. (you rock, ivan!)

Anyhow, today was sad/spastic/depressed/funny/angry/whatever/spastic... yeah, I know I said that twice...

First day of March, and in two days I'll have had this diary for a year. Wow.... this diary knows me so well... it has literally watched me morph, and for my "one-year" anniversary, I am going to do the "realizations" thing.... which will take a damn long time.

Things are definitely not going so well. Nittany kid, seems rather avoidative.. (that is probably not a word.) I need a word that means "I'm feeling as if I am being ignored, but I'm really not being ignored and have no right to feel as if I am being ignored, yet, I do, so, there." It occured to me today how little I know this person; I'm still angry with myself for falling so hard so fast, what is wrong with me? Maybe it was my situation before, that influenced the whole "AAAAH, SOMEONE POSITIVE" kind of thing. Actually, it's the fact that I fell, period, that bothers me, I practically swore to myself, "No more guys! No more! They've caused you enough pain, I'm suprised you have any liquid left in your body; I'm suprised your eyes haven't streamed out from their sockets, this is enough! No more!"

And, I have to pack, and unless Max calls me or Zack gets online, I have nowhere to go tonight, which is odd, maybe I'll go with the people to the movie, or maybe not... I don't have it in me to deal with these people tonight, remember last week?? When everything was remotely okay?? Last week was so fun, all those people, we got sugar high and walked around, has pizza, checked out clothes, chilled in Panera,... tonight everyone is going to all different places, I'm sad...

It's like, we don't even have a group anymore. Everyone is always going somewhere, and they never invite me because Sasha and Jes don't like me, and I really don't know why Jes doesn't, but Sasha... well, she sort of has a reason, but it's an old reason. No only is she a squash/squashed, but she's a grudge-holding squashed squash. (I still am not sure why everyone calls her squash).

Damn! Of all times to want/NEED to be in pgh, this is definitely one of them, I'm completely fed up with State College people.

Oh, by the way, everyone's favorite cynic is back... Yeah, being happy for a while was fun, but, now everything is back to normal, almost :swears under breath:, but, soon enough it will be, and my life will be boring, uneventful, crappy, usual, nothing. Classes, PF people, nothing, boring, all that ...jazz... the usual drama, the usual drama queens, (and kings... cough...), the usual philosophers, and then there's me. I don't fit into any of those, so I talk to all of them, learn from all of them, befriend most, and some hate me, most for no reason. I'm on the outside, looking in, on almost everything, do they know how stupid they are? Do they know how ... immature some of their decisions are? But, then again, when I consider myself to be so above everything, I go and say stupid, immature things as well.

the mocked are the mimicked.

I'm out

(_iz

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