Hung out at the arts festival again today. Al was there of course, we had fun and Shelby came back which was really good! We were with Peter, Zack and Ivan some of the time, but Zack and Ivan were really making me mad, and I think maybe Shelby, not sure about Allison.

I hate how Zack makes fun of me for my religion, how he thinks I'm snobby with it and that I think I'm better than him or something- well, I don't. I believe in the bible and everything I have been taught my whole life, so should he make fun of me with that stupid Jesus doll, and should he go around telling people "Liz thinks she's such a christian, yeah fuck her" I know he says that, he can't lie, I wish he'd just come out and say he has a problem with me instead of always pretending to be my friend. And... I can't be myself around Ivan, and I'm not going to take this anymore. He always used to make fun of me and say rude things and I'd sit and laugh like it was nothing, but I'm not going to do it anymore... Shelby and Allison might find his annoying yelling and being an ass funny, but that is their opinion and I won't try to change it... I think it's... yes, annoying, and I can't even be within an inch of him before he starts yelling at me for something. Ugh, I hate insulting people like this-.. but I'm not, really, I'm just saying how I feel... and I could tell him, I could say "Ivan, please don't make fun of me" (but knowing me it'd be more "stop making fun of me now"... a little less nice), but nomatter what I'd say, he would say "Why should I go out of my way to be nice to you?" Well, why should you go out of your way to be mean, to be an ass? I don't understand. Why were you so nice to me when you wanted to meet Shelby, and when you wanted to hang out with us, but now that you do, now that you think you're in, you're an ass to me again? Isn't it obvious, I wonder. It's like you can say anything to me and I have to be okay with it, (ROT IN FUCK! DIE! FUCK YOU! I'LL KILL YOU, FUCK! YOU FUCKHOLE! and all your stupid "hey, all your friends but you are hot" things). But if I were to say "you're an ass" you won't talk to me for a while and you'll go around telling everyone how mean I am and no one else will talk to me either... you deny that to me, you deny it to others... but Ivan, you can't deny it to yourself, as hard as you may try.

Anyway, things have been good other than that. Peter was nice today. So were Jes and Andrea and Conor. Andrea's birthday! Happy birthday! Haha, not that she needs another well wish, she already has many...:-)

I think we are going swimming tomorrow... hopefully it'll just be the girls... I don't want to have to deal with rude boys anymore. I'm sure they're sick of us too (Or maybe just me! There guys, I said it for you.)

Ahhh I gotta be positive... um, I talked to Max for.. a long time... on the phone tonight, I think from when I got home (around 9:30 or 10) until 1:20ish in the morning... with a 10 minute break between ...ithink..

theres so much more good stuff but mom woke up..:-(

Liz

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