Today and last night have been slightly depressing. Everytime something bad would happen I'd think "Hey, shut up, you're an editor, be happy"... even the littlest things set me off, like if someone I knew didn't say hi (which is stupid because not everyone has to say hi, you know?)- and the guy, damn, I let every fucking little thing get to me. I hate. So Much. How much this affects me, why can't I just say "fuck him, I want my life back"- what did he do to get me so whipped? He reminds me of Chris Salera, that could be it. I act like the ditziest person I know around him,- such an idiot and I can't be myself, this is stupid.

Lauren doesn't know if she can hang out tonight but it'd be sweet if she could.

I have homework but it can wait until Sunday along with everything else I don't want to do right now, but should be doing.

we might go see sweet home alabama with Sasha and Chelsae, which should be cool, I hear the movie is good

(I HATE EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW, never thought I'd say this but I wish it was Summer again- maybe the beggining of Summer when everything was easy, like, late June. I AM SO STRESSED)- I don't have time to worry about the frivilous things that I do, I need to worry about schoolwork and my good friends.

Today at lunch I was hanging out with Marlee and some kid with black curly hair and I asked about the guy (the obsession, etc..) and he said "he's a...homo.." and then made the blowjob hand motion with his mouth. I asked him how he knew it, and I forget what he said... but half of me actually hopes hes gay ("so that's why he doesn't like me") instead of the fact that I'm either a ditz, and idiot, ugly or all three.

why am I letting this get to me?! Wow... I need to lighten up, it's the rain that gets me down these days. Subcosciously, the rain depresses me. Every once in a while I think about things and want to cry, or I feel muderous.

That's it, you know what? I want to meet some mature guys...

Yeaahh me and Laura Rubin are going downtown Monday, then to the marching band practice at 7. Erin says she knows some hot juniors... ah Lauren might come too, it'll be really fun.

bah, im staying in tonight:-(

Liz

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