It's like, almost 4 in the morning. So, why am I awake now? I fell asleep at like 6:30 and woke up around 2:30 this morning, I got my 8 hours, I'm good- I have homework to do. I did some of it, and shit I forgot all about this science thing we had to do- sucks, I'll have to do it during the study hall today that I had been planning on chilling with Abby in the library. I probably will go to the library though, so I can type it up, I'll chill with her anyway- Arnold can kiss my ass

(I'm actually afraid saying that, as if he will find out and do something horrible to me).

I was reading everyone's diaires and thinking about how this weekend is going to suck- actually, Friday won't, but everything else will. I'm not doing anything tonight- I was going to- but I have a voice lesson that I'm not going to get out of, and I'm not going to get out of my editor fucking shitface bitchass either,- you know, I actually like the editor thing, but I hate whatever I have to do when it is keeping me from doing something I'd rather do... see what I mean? Anyway. Friday, I dunno what I'm doing, - I think I'm gonna hang out with Trevor B, he was gonna teach me how to skate, haha- and Zack and Ivan might come along? I was randomly not in the den when Ivan was IMing me last night, and he signed off, then I fell asleep, so I have to talk to him today. Then, I think we are going to walk from downtown to the state high game, then leave the game and go back downtown(?). haha, you never know, I love those guys. Saturday is going to royally, officially suck. I have to babysit and those people never called me and - auuhhh I want the money, hopefully the kids will be good, they have a DVD player, we will watch movies, go outside and play, why do they need me at four? Hmm, oh well. 4 till like, midnight. Then Sunday- a day that I thought wouldn't be too bad- have to go to Pittsburgh and help clean up the house. First off, it's fucking depressing and I'm going to be a vegetable for a few days after, second off, why can't I stay here for a day? I talked to my mom, she said "if you come with us, we'll go to Spencer's and get stuff for your party..." so... I've been bribed, okay mom, fine. This weekend is going to suck. Except for Friday. Which is tomorrow.

It's about 4 in the morning, yeah, I'm gonna get in the shower at 5, blahh. I wonder how today will be. I'm up at 4 in the morning! Man, I'm so weird!

I have random Incubus songs in my head, which is weird because I don't listen to them much anymore:-/.

I think Sasha was mad at me yesterday, or maybe she just has more fun talking to the guys on our bus. Hmm.

There are still positive things- ah- the weekend after this one is going to be killer. I'm dying my hair. Only like, 3 or 4 people know what color, I told them in that costume shop. My party is that Saturday, ahh, wow, blah, etc. I still have to formally invite Shelby (Shelbee, heehee I love it), I haven't got around to doing that. I did invite Al, but she has to be somewhere. It's so cool being at peace with them again. I don't know if I'm going to hang out with people Friday, or stay at home, dye my hair, do other crap, set up for the party, ah. I dunno. I'll probably end up going downtown, screw staying at home. I wish I could make a little robot of me and have her go through Saturday and Sunday while I sleep. It's going to suck. I can't go to Jeana and Aja's party, grr... well, it wasn't really my crowd though, it was more the Danny Prince, Mike Stewart girls and guys- they're cool, just I don't know them too well. (And I really do not like Danny Prince, he's an asshole...a s s h o l e.) Everyone loves him but have you ever bothered actually looking past his stupid little smile? Nope. Well, I have, it's not pretty.

Yesterday wasn't too bad- I woke up to some Alanis Morsette, which rocked, and set my mood. Today I want to put on some Jimmy Eat World before I get in the shower, so I'll sing it in the shower, and that will make me happy too. Then, coffee, and advil- which will also help out my mood. It's kinda sad that I have to be dependant on Ibuproffen and Caffiene to make myself have a good day. And, I haven't got any tic-tacs left, which means disgusting fake mint breath spray today. Wooo.

Oh, another thing about Pittsburgh, I can't call Maria or anyone to hang out. Nice, huh.

Maria is coming to State College a week after!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!! Wow!!!! I need to clean my room! It's going to be amazing! She'll be here for my party and she'll get to meet everyone that I've ever talked about in here or to her. She's already met Zack, Ivan, Max, Brett, Andrea, Tim, Kassi, Sasha (kinda), and now she'll get to meet some more people- some I didn't even know before (some I did know, but never talked to). So, guess what, you should all be psyched. Maria is like, the best person in the world ever.

I have to tell my dad to get large amounts of soda. Someone told me that you need soda- I think Ashley Phoenix. I just hope Ivan doesn't go throwing it all... I mean, one or two shall be tasteful, but there are going to be a LOT of people there, a lot of thirsty people. Hm, Ivan, I'll have to go find him today.

I feel so bad for Abby. I think Will was leading her on, and he called ME a selfish bitch, well, I've never done that, nomatter how much everyfuckingperson thinks I did. I have to tell Abby this. I just have to, she's one of my good friends, even though it's hurtful, and I don't want her to hate me for it. Joel seems to think that's the basic gist- Will led Abby on. IT IS HORRIBLE. She likes him so much, and fuck I would have hated that, had it been my case a week ago. Will makes me so mad all the time. He ignores me, turns his lil friends against me and leads my friends on and hurts them. Asshole. Who's the "selfish bitch" now, Will Mills? You think your friends turning against me is an impact? Wait 'till mine turn against you, you'll be feeling it. I'll see Abby tomorrow... shit, I don't want to say that though, 'Will was leading you on', that's horrible, it's mean, I care about Abby and I don't want to say that and hurt her. But, if I don't say anything and she finds out much later, she'll be hurt more, right? So, I have to do something, seeing as I know what is going on- I mean, I would have wanted to know, anyone would. Wish me luck.

this entry is growing so long, it's about 4:20, I'm going to go finish my homework and take a shower.

Liz

(dude! 4:20)

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