Wow... I have a LOT on my mind.

Andrea's wooden dildo thing is HILARIOUS- I can't see her profile right now,(for the link) but it's hillaarrriouuus. AH it looks like a real penis, except..wood. hahaha "buy him a gift certificate for the Goodwill"- that was seriously the funniest thing I had heard all day.

iiii... hope Sasha can go tomorrow. OOMPP BABY. hahahaha...

I have to write a stupid paper tonight, it's standing in my way of getting that A, other wise I just wouldn't do it.

Hehehe Saturdayyy is Courtney's party- 15, - YES! Sooo I'm gonna get her a gift, and go hang out with everyone, I think it's at Laura Day's house. Speaaaking of Lauras' (as in, the name Laura, and the Laura people-)

This is going to sound so mean, but it is meant in the best way possible... it seems like Laura, my good friend who I'll always think is so amazing... it seems like she needs to understand that, to have a friend, you have to be a friend. I always call her, if I don't grab her attention at the end of math class, we don't talk, she just leaves. If I don't ask her to be in my group, she's not. If I don't invite her to hang out, we won't. It's not that she doesn't want to be my friend- I know this for a fact, I just don't mean too much to her, or she's too pre-occupied. It seems like :auren Benton means a lot to her... she calls Lauren, and does things with Lauren. It kinda makes me jealous, I wish I was that close to Laura. But, I'm not. It's not like we're far apart, we really do confide in each other and hang out and get along really well.

You know who I should call? Lauren M. She started voice with the wonderful coach, Elizabeth yesterday. I wonder if Lauren is going to Courtney's party? I haven't talked to her in a while. Yes, I will call her tonight. We have to hang out- she needs to go to the party.

I... need to write the essay. I'll start at 9. That's in half an hour.

I. Hate. Boys. It feels like I've blown my chances with all of them on this earth (although I know it's not true)- I'm just unnatractive, I guess! Oh well... I should just stop caring now.

I talked to Nate today. It was ... nothing. It was weird talking to him, but I could breathe. I couldn't look at him, but my heart rate didn't increase. I was normal. I wasn't totally cool at all, either...you know what I mean? My head was all messed, I was thinking weirdly... like, not straight, but not totally out of it either. It was all in my head...my body was like, whatever. Everything was normal. Then, I asked him about something that I think he was a bit sensitive about... I didn't know this at first, though. He looked kinda defeated and I smiled at him. Right directly at him. It wasn't a mean smile, just a smile... simple as that. He went to the bathroom and I walked away, not really even thinking about him.

I still miss him, though.

It's just not a big deal. I'm living...

Everything seems to fall through with guys now. They like someone else, or they don't have any interest in me really, or something. I talked to Joe online last night... about stuff, I dunno, but he... I think likes Jeana, and whatever :shrugs: .. And, I duno maybe if I stop waiting for a new guy to come around, - if I stop caring, maybe one just will and it will be even better than it was with Nate.

You know what's sad? The french fries in the cafeteria...the way they smell and taste..remind me of Nate. He didn't smell or taste like a french fry, but... I duno. Maybe because I had lunch with him, and at the time I'd always get fries because they didn't make your breath gross.

iiii write Hillary a nooooote today then like didn't see her again.. I hope she liked it:-)

8:50, almost essay-writing-time

Wow, this weekend is going to be amazing. I haven't had real plans for a while, well... real meaning actually planned- normally I call someone up, or they call me, and we head off to the mall er something. Speaking of calling! I gotta call Lauren

much love-

Liz

0 comments so far