The past few days have been interesting

Sad, conflicted, blah'ed... but crazilly, I'm still able to just smile. I always feel best after 6th period, even though today I didn't feel too great because of the newspaper. It's a long story, but none of the May news stories can be printed now, and it was a HUGE downer because of all the time I spent on it. Anyway.

the last two nights I've been so busy. I'd come home and get to my homework and finish it all, eat, work out and watch some TV. Didn't really want to get online.

Nothing too interesting really ever happens. I fell asleep at like 6:30 last night and got ...11ish hours. Still tired though.

I should work out tonight.

Today after school was pretty sweet. Andrea and I stayed after, talked to various people and then walked with Trevor and Ivan to Ivan's house. I've never been there, and I haven't hung out with those guys in so long... it was pretty sweet. Then we went tanning and chilled until my dad came. It's so easy to talk to her!

I love my fishy. I let it slip what his name was tonight... haha. They were like "*****?!?!?!" Yeah noone names their fish that. But it's okay.

IM SO EXCITED FOR MARLEES PARTY!!!!

it's gonna be aweeesome. I hear like 300 people are going and ...yeah. It's gonna be killer. SHES 15!! Aw I love Marlee, she's so nice.

WELL. what else is there to say! I've felt fat lately and it plain pisses me off because before this schoolyear I never really used to... I never worked out that much and I felt just plain normal. Now I'm always like "UGG SO FAT!"

what is WRONG with not being bone skinny? what is WRONG with having a little chub? It's not like I'm obese...but I'm not gonna go starve myself and live at the gym so I can look like a stick bug.

(although, if I had a gym membership, I would probably live there...)

Well, I wanna be bone skinny, nomatter what I say.

Kinda been reminiscing lately. This comes and goes and soon it will go again, it bothers me and it hurts... deep inside where I've buried it. Instead of coming to terms and accepting these feelings, I just shove them away and try to forget. It's unhealthy, which is why I keep having these ocurrences where I regress and miss what was, instead of being content in what is. I suppose I'll always miss this, but there isn't a thing I can do about the situation. There is, however, something I can do about how I feel and react to it. Hopefully I will learn to manage this.

WELL... There's not a lot else to be said. I wish my hair was longer and blonde and I wish I was tanner. I'm working on the tan thing! I'm gonna grow my hair back out and ... UGG i wish it was my natural hair color NOW, not a year from now. Grr.

HM, I'm out

Liz

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