Wow, I haven't updated in a long time.

OKAY. So Sunday was drive- to- Pittsburgh- day. Seeing that old skyline always gets to me.

Before we went to the city, we stopped at my grandparent's old house. It was for sale. That was the last time we would ever see the house... I took pictures of the rooms and the yard. They can never compare to my mental pictures, and ... I don't know. It was very saddening. Very. I wrote in my notebook. Nomatter how much disinfectant and cleaning fluids we use... it will still smell like them, the way it's always smelled and felt in there. Nomatter who will live there after this, and the ones after that...

then we left. mom was angry at all of us, but that is her defense mechanism. She gets mad after being extremely sad. I got quiet, Teddy played his gameboy and dad just drive, trying to put in a positive word here and there.

Then mom and I were dropped off at the mall. I got an awesome bathing suit and her and I went to Roxy to eat. We talked about pappy, and grandma, and other things. Then dad came. It was cool to be with them and pretend I'm the 'only child' like I used to when I was little. then...

Maria was really busy, so I went to Rachelle's house. Amanda came over, and we had an amazing time. Just like the old days, we walked around the neighborhood and talked and laughed and were stupid. Mom came with me and she had some wine with the O'connels. She ended up doing something that ...yeah, well, we had to leave.

Went to Ursula's, I think. Stayed up really late for no reason.

Then , Monday was Kennywood day. It was alright. I was really out of it and felt kind of weird, which I think annoyed some people, hopefully everyone will forget about it cuz it sucked. But otherwise, we had fun. Ate a LOT of junk. haha.aa...

I was afraid when we took the lift thing up to the top lot. I always think about it falling and us all dying or getting horribly injured.

We left. I literally KNOCKED OUT on the ride home, I was so deeply sleeping, but we stopped at Sheetz and I got a jones soda, but didn't drink it until I got home.

Tuesday.... went to andreas!!! It was awesome seeing her, I missed her alot. We ordered food and sat around. Then made plans for the night. At first, I wanted to have people over, but I called home and mom was like "Noo I'm tired, I'm not doing anything tonight"...so...we made other plans. and we had everything planned out, who we were going with, what we were doing, and I called home at about 5 or something and dad was like "UM your mother planned a fathers day dinner" and I was like, wtf. She said she was TIREDDD and I have plans, they can't just drop THEIR plans on me at the last minute and expect me to totally change mine. So I gave them Andrea's cell number and told dad what I was doing and everything.

So I figure it's no big deal, because he didn't make it sound like one, just an eating out thing with the family... they go out to eat all the time without me and nobody cares.

So we're all ready to go and we're gonna catch the bus and Andrea's like, hey, listen to this message, tell me who it's from. So, I listen, and it's my mom, leaving the MOST GUILT TRIPPY MESSAGE EVER. It made me feel HORRIBLE and I called her cell and left a message like "Mom, I didn't appreciate that message, It made me sad...and if you were trying to ruin my night, well, you succeeded. Congratulations". It wasn't angry or anything, just...blah.

So I was pretty sad, but we had to leave.

We ran to the bus stop in the rain, thinking we were late. Got there and the thing said the bus comes at 6:11 and it was 6:15. Waited, waited... it didn't come. We assumed we missed it, and walked across the street to the other one. It came and told us that the other guy would be coming (he was late) so we waited, and he came... we were SOAKED. Hahahaaaa...

Got downtown. Tim came, then Bruno came. Got tickets. Dumber and Dumberer was a GOOD MOVIE. I thought it was FUNNY. Maybe I'm just a LOSER cuz only Tim did too, Andrea was like "ahh hehe..." and bruno thought it was just dumb.

So, we went to the library, got online... some people were on. Then left, Andrea's mom freaked out. So she left. It was Bruno, Tim and I, sitting in Panera... Peter came in. So It was us. I owe peter two bucks. And I skidded my knee. Bruno looked sad but then he didn't.

I left. dad came and got me. He was angry. He got lost and blamed it on me. Mom was angry when I got home. Mom was still angry when I woke up. She guilt tripped me and made me feel so horrible that I went back to my room and cried myself to sleep. Dad came home and I couldn't even talk to him, I felt so bad. My door was locked and he couldn't get in.

I think I'm having people over tonight. I had to beg mom and tell her I'd clean everything... so I'm going to. Maybe she won't be pissed anymore if I'm REALLY NICE, cuz I wanna do stuff tomorrow during the day.

So yeah I need to clean, ugg, headache... Hopefully I can clean by the time dad gets here, and then go upstairs and hybernate, because I can't face him yet.

His gift is still under my bed. It makes me sad and I feel so guilty for missing the dinner last night, but mom doesn't care...for all she knows right now, I don't give a crap, but I do. It won't matter to her if I tell her I care. She'd probably abuse it and make me feel even worse, knowing her.

well, I'm out

Liz

ps. im soo happy to be home...

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