wow, that last entry was all up in the sadness thing.

I worked tonight, convered James's shift. It was cool! I'll have an awesomely spectacular paycheck coming in, and, I talked to a lot of people I hadn't really talked to before- one being Hott Corey, who IS very hott, but I see him with his girlfriend so much that he's not ... the same essence of "hott corey-ness" as he was before. He's just a guy who works behind the service desk who is cool to talk to sometimes.

I have 4 real periods in the north building now, not counting lunch. LE got me in a psychology class. How amazingly cool to the tenth power is THAT.

we're working on powers in math... like.. to the negative one fourth and someshit.

but, ... I'm not in my gym class anymore,- no more Doodle, no more Lauren, no more Chelsae, Kendrea, Jordan, or attractive Joe Reese. Well. I don't have psychology on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I can go and watch and do homework the other days, because I will have LE! YAY.

Andrea and I are discussing first loves...you know, no one else really feels the same way about it as I do. Nate really was my "first love"- Max was hers. But they're both over now. Nate is a pot head, immature, shallow- someone I would never want to associate with. Max has a girlfriend, and Andrea has matured so much.

It's so crazy how I got over it. I used to want to so badly; how do you suddenly stop loving someone? But now- well- I notice him in the halls, he isn't "just another person" to me, but I can't imagine us together. We're both so, so different now. He'd honestly bore and annoy me. I like communication- I learned so much from Kevin. Someday I should thank him; he taught me how to make a relationship, how to work at it, how to meet each other halfway.

if anyone says "nate" to me now

I think nate whitmer

last year when someoen said "nate", at this time last year... I would probably feel like crying, or feel sick, or get angry.

but now

it's just nate. I laugh at him sometimes, because he is still so mean to me.

Or, I don't know about mean, more like... rude and indifferent. If I ever try to talk to him, he'll look away and mmumble stuff- or - EXAMPLE- he was walking with Becky across the parking lot. She called to me and I went over, and he said "uh see you later Becky" and walked a distance away from us. It was so not needed that it was funny. I answered her question, said "sorry to interrupt your conversation with NATE, haha" and walked away.

anywho, otherwise with boys- boys who are much more mature, respectful and smarter than nate can ever hope to be-

so there's this guy.

he's pretty awesome.

I want to get to know him better, I reallyreallyreally want to get to know him better, oh so badly, but I will be patient until he instigates something. I can wait. I don't know him that well, but I can tell he's worth the wait. There's just something about him.

every time I almost shake it, -

it's kind of frustrating.

School is going well. I'm getting my homework done and participating in class, I will NOT have those horrid grades from before, I can't believe all that. I saw it and almost cried.

It won't happen again.

i should sleep- work at 8:30 tomorrow! "That sucks."- Hott cCrey, in referance to my working at 8:30am

maybe he shouls just be Corey now. I feel kinda bad calling him hott corey, I've talked to his girlfriend and she's really nice. I'm by no means trying to you know, break them up, or something mean like that.

boys are great though. the single ones.

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