Matt did something real bad today. well. not real bad. but we had been frustrated, more like, i had been frustrated and- I was shoved over the edge and got so mad
and i yelled at him after i dropped his backpack off and went to my car and sat there and wanted to cry. what to do?
and i picked up my phone, thinking to call a friend and ask advice, when it vibrated and it was him
"come back? talk to me?"
"i didn't leave"
"come in."
"alright".
and we talked, and i told him why i was upset with him and for once he understood and apologized. he didn't really see wrong in what he-hadn't- done, but he atleast understood how i felt and where i was coming from, and really, that's all i wanted.
because understanding each other is so vital.
and we had a nice few hours while no one else was around. we needed it. we watched tv and talked and kissed and had wonderful sex- which we haven't done in goodness knows how long, and sometimes i think that might be part of my frustrations with him...we never have sex ever, and it wasn't like it was ALL we did- but i do it with my heart. i don't like the sex cos...it's sex, i don't even get off. I like it because it's with HIM, and it's always amazing. I don't understand how you could do it with just anyone. I love him so much...
and so we're good again. this feels more permanent. I saw him later tonight, and I was just so happy about us because we had time earlier to ourselves, to be together, and so tonight when we chilled with goins and some others- I didn't mind, I liked it.
Goins is actually really really cool. I actually TALKED to him tonight. Of course, it wasn't one on one, Matt was there, but it was a real conversation nonetheless, and I was involved.
Matt sleeps over tomorrow night!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited, I know it will be as amazing, if not better than the last time! AH
and school is good, all is well in LizLand. Something weird happened and I have some strange feelings. I was around secondhand weed tonight, so I didn't get high- but just a little overtly philosophical. I was going on about how you could possibly rationalize with a mass murderer and such.
all this psychology junk from last year that I thought I forgot about came out of my mouth and they were like, whoa, we're stoned, shut your trap.
IT WAS GOOOOOD A-LIVIN WITH YA WHAAOOHHHH GOOOD GOOOD GOOOOD
SOMETHING SOMETHING...WRITE YOU A LETTER...SOMETHING ON..THE 4TH OF JULYYYY...
^^(that's how i sing. in real life.)

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