I should not be updating.

Well, I guess I'll try to be positive and talk about my first day at art camp... ahh Abbie's in my art class!!! It was so fun, and the teacher is really nice... thre are like.. 7 kids, and one college student teacher who has the best CDs.

We uh, went to lunch at baby's and she gave me the Tim story... they're going to be really good together, haha they already are. I gave her the Max story (which actually sorted itself out today, but more about that later). then we went to Metro and tried on many clothes, it was fun without the guys. Even if the guys had been there, and been fawning all over Abbie, it would have been okay... lately I've been trying to adapt more of Allison's attitude... just not care, it's pretty cool.

then we walked to her house, and I had plans to go to Shelby's at 4... I ended up walking from Abbie's to Shelby's... It's not a horrendously long walk, but it wasn't the funnest... if it weren't for my discman, I dunno, it would have seemed a lot longer... it's like from a little before Corl street to Welch pool to South Allen to her house.

Allison leaves tomorrow:-(

I really don't like this, this feeling that everyone hates me and that they are all mad at me, and that I've done something horrible... it makes me feel like throwing up, and I never intentionally mean to do or say anything that makes someone mad, or hurts someone, and... I'm just going to have to start making an effort to think before I talk.

I talked to Max today at Shelby's... were going out now, :-D (gah, finally)...aren't Zack and Al going out? someone said they were... they're a really cute couple.

I feel sicka lot lately...

Um, art camp is going to be fun... tomorrow mom is all strict on when she is picking me up... so I'll just hang out infront of Panera or something maybe, write or read, get a bagel and some water. I really need some.. uh, me time, I guess. To think and basically pull myself together. Art, writing, reading, listening to music while thinking are all forms of release, to ignore reality, but at the same time, deal with it. Not that reality is all that bad... I'm really stretching it, but when one or a few people are angry with me, it seems like the whole world has turned against me, that's how much my friends mean to me... I don't want them angry, or sad, I want them happy, and ... not angry. Don't get me wrong... I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just a little disappointed in myself for whatever I've done... I don't want to make anyone mad, or sad, or anything like that... I want people to have fun with me, and laugh, not at any of my jokes of course (because they're all stupid and offending),... but just laugh, you know? Have fun. I'll shut up now...

Emily is coming to SC in August sometime before the 26th... we might go to NYC.. it depends what my mom does and wants... Emily is gonna get along with people really well, I know it.. just like Maria did, it seems like Em and Mar have been untouched with USC's snobiness. Emily is so much like Shelby! I hope they get to meet, they'd be great friends.

I'm gonna take a shower tonight and french braid my hair so I have crimps tomorrow... I've always wanted to try that... Elle Maney told me about it, I swear, she knows everything about fashion and hair and all that good stuff. Sam does too.

I think I'll e-mail Ivan... I'm not sure if it'll be a good or a bad thing, but I feel like sucky friend if I didn't do it, and I actually do miss him although I pretend not to...

Well, I'm out

Liz

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