sometimes I look at the other kids in my grade, and wonder why I'm such a dork compared to all the really popular ones. When I'm not around them I'm normal, and I can be myself around all the people I normally hang out with. But today, on the bus going back to the school from Bedford Villiage...

Nichole, the girl I had been sitting with, asked if it was alright if she moved back with Melissa, some random, yet popular person. I said 'that's alright, I can move to the outside of the seat then,' and after a thousand 'are you sure's?' she left. I really didn't mind all that much, I still had all the other people around me (I was sitting in the last seat in the middle)

After talking to a few people, then relaxing on the nice seat (They were like, greyoundish buses, no wonder the trip cost seventeen dollars per kid!) Nichole asked me from the back if I wanted to come sit by her, because Melisa was sitting on the aisle in the back, tlaking to a bunch of people. I came back, then Melissa asked me to come on the floor. I did, and she said 'Do you think nmck is hot?' (haha! yes, he's back, the notorius Nmck) And, this has been a while after I got to know the two a little better, (mck and nmck) and... oh my gosh, is it possible for two people to look so alike yet be so different?!! nmck is the most jerky, bastardly, stuck-up, ugly little scrawny ... THING that I have ever met. Has anyone reading this diary noticed that when you meet someone, nomatter how they appear to you at first glance, their personality hugely affects their looks? mck is so nice, and kinda quiet and shy-ish, but i think he's like, extremely hot. nmck, hwever as outoing as he may seem, is SUCH a jerk, and when he talks to girls, the only words he uses are either 'shut up' or 'go away'.... sooooo, there you have it.

Anyway, I said 'um, not really' and he was sitting like, RIGHT THERE in the aisle seat next to Melissa.

But anyway, everyone else was like 'oh he's so hot!' and he wasn't even paying attention!! Eventually everyone began talking again, and I swear I am the most shy person now! And when I DO talk it's either a question or some stupid comment. Why am I such an outcast!? Why can't I be myself aroun d people I KNOW are higher in the social scale than me, the thing I really should be doing is acting "cool" (haha) and trying to impress them (come on.... don't we all?)

It's like every ten seconds people expect you to say soemthing witty, or funny, or are those just the pressures I have put upon myself?

Anyway, tell me whose *comeback you crave* and I'll write more about that person! (like, in my older entries) Tell me in my comments box!

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