My head hurts. The left eye was pinched in attempts to get the contact out, and now I am finally wearing glasses.

I'm tired. I got an hour or two of sleep last night. I was almost going to stay up all night, which would have been cool because I would have had actual TIME to get ready (I have trouble waking up in the morning). But no, around 5 I fell asleep and woke at 6:50. I told myself, "I'll rest but not fall totally asleep, I won't!". It figures that I did.

Anyway. Maybe sometime when I feel up to it, I'll write the "according to me, you are..." in here. If I were to tell you to your face you wouldn't believe me, I know because I've done bits and parts of it before.

Chris Salera talked to me today. Things come back with mentions of names, pictures, smells, thoughts, feelings, so much comes back, too much. In a weird, twisted way, I was happy to sign off... and I had been thinking about him today too. Just USC. There's something I never should have left, did I belong there? But, I got out, not happy at the moment, but, way better than I would have been in USC.

I'm tired. Sad. Bored. Tired, sad and bored with life, where'd my fun go? I think I've lost it. People don't laugh at me anymore- like, at jokes, I used to make them laugh. People- react positively, to me, I guess, but, no, why am I getting into this, it's not ... something I should debate about with myself....

You know what Mckee said today? After class (we had been talking about highschool courses), I told her, "You know... I don't really feel as if you know me," and went from there. She said something to the effect of, "You are careless in your work, and you never stop talking to listen, and you never want to hear what anyone says, and you don't pay attention in class," and some other stuff. If I'm such a horrible student, tell me, how'd I get this A in algebra I have now, and intend on holding up for the marking period, I'm working very hard for it you know. Tell me I'm careless when I ace those tests! Tell me I'm careless, I had an A in SS last marking period and intend on holding it up to that level and not better for the next. Tell me I'm careless, I'm getting this A in science if it kills me. Tell me I'm careless even though you know you're a horrible teacher. The word actually wasn't careless, but it was something that meant the same thing. Tell me I'm careless when, even though you're recommending me for stupid people English, I'll go into advanced and ace it! Tell me I'm careless when I come back to you, older and wiser, when you CAN'T intimidate me like you did today, when you CAN'T hurt me like you did today, tell me I'm careless when I graduate highschool with HONORS, tell me I'm careless then, you witty, smart, intimidating bitch!

Talking to people online helps me feel better, the positivity is nice.

I need dinner so much, and I have algebra homework, I'm wondering how much longer I can stay awake.

(_iz

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