Hershey.

I feel so weird, the bus ride, Tim, Brooke, people, Mack, (yeah... I saw him...), How I managed this, I'm not sure, I feel different.

I feel wrong.

But the bus ride back was incredible, I hope they don't think me a horrible slut. Okay, so we got back to the South building, and someone says "Doesn't this trip pretty much mark the end of middle school?" and for like two seconds everyone absorbed that, then the half of the bus that actually knew what he meant was like, -

"WE'RE FRESHMEN!" - "HIGHSCHOOL!" - and such

It all seems so typical, like from a movie or something. But, it felt so good, all of us being so happy about something so simple, yet so significant.

Max said I was very lucky today, the way I acted towards Tim, would have normally gotten me dumped, or atleast frowned upon, and he was right... So, so confused. My mind wandered to dumping him, then I came to my senses and I was like "Uh- wtf?"

I don't want to do that, I know I will regret it.

Lisa dumped Pierre. She was very sad.

Lizzy Elliott is having a party and I don't think that I was invited. Oh well... I guess I'm not 'cool' enough.

Jeremey Garnett actually talked to me. Maybe I am 'popular/hot' enough for him now.

I smell like chlorine.

My legs hurt.

I am tired.

Popularity is so ovverated, the 'popular' MNMS kids were totally absorbed in their own world... laughing, looking at others snottily. I screamed and stuck my tounge out and did some other rather dorky things... and felt good about it.

Ivan refused to give me a five today. I was standing with him and Peter, and I kinda forget what happened but I was like "Don't leave me hangin!" and he looked away and kinda grunted or something. It was weird.

But, it's Ivan. I'm almost used to it.

I probably shouldn't say that. I don't want his mom to be mad at me again, I like her, although I don't think she likes me very much, but if I were her I wouldn't like me either, so I guess it's okay.

Weird..

I don't know whether to go to the radio station or somewhere with Tim, Max and Brooke tomorrow. Do I want to see Tim? I should want to see him. Why am I so fickle? No, I am not fickle...

Passionless, -not me-

So many thoughts ran through my mind today. This isn't about Tim, and it's not fair to him for me to think about him right now when I'm so screwed up about something, I don't even know.

I must be tired. Might even be PMSing. If that's it, I want a damn sex change, this is too much. But it might not be. Tired.

Sean Brannigan is hitting on me again.

Some little boys made animal sounds at me.

Some guy in a tie dyed shirt asked if he could take my picture today

Boys.

I feel like I am just now entering the real world of boys, men, them, the others, and such, or maybe it's just me, things change, I changed, just yesterday I was so different.

I am too tired to defend myself. I hope no one gets mad at me for anything.

Taco bell, I crave food,-

I only want him because I cannot have him.

sleep.

Liz

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