Have I got a lot on my mind or what.

Tonight was the football game, the first ever, and it was amazing to see everyone- but it put me in perspective as to where I currently stand.

I'm no one special. To anyone. I often feel as low as I did in USC and that fucking scares me although I know I'm not. Of course, this is only my fatigue talking- I'm fine.

I think me and Max are cool... that's a good thing I guess... I went by the advice from someone who knows what they are talking about, and I didn't do or say anything after his diary entry... I didn't write about him or try to talk to him... I just let things go... and here we are, friendly again. I hope maybe, with time, we can be as close as we were before any stupid stuff happened, the way we were in school, SS class.

Wednesday was an interesting day... I was downtown alone, and I went into Wendy's to get a quick burger because I had to be somewhere at 3... so I sit down and begin shoving it all in my mouth, and some random guy who was standing behind me in line comes to my table and asks "can i sit here?" (motioning to a seat across from me) and I said "sure"(after trying to chew like, half the burger)... so I resort to eating my french fries while I try to make polite conversation with him... I forget his name, he's a new freshmen in college, he's from Floridaand he's really tan, he likes rap (uh, blargh.), and yeah... well it was about 3 and I said "I'm sorry, but i have to go" and he said bye, and I left then once i was out the door I remembered that I had my retainer on my lap, and in my hurry to leave, I dropped it on the floor. WONDERFUL. So I had to go back in there, get it, and leave even faster than the first time... it sucked.

I told him I was a senior in highschool.. no big... like he's ever gonna see me again... when I left he said "see you around" and I was like yeah... Um, I've met countless people and never seeing them. He didn't ask for my number, and he wouldn't have gotten it anyhow. I learned my lesson. (Chris Love, the guy who works at Sam's Club in Dubois or something) (cradle robber).

So anyway... highschool... woo. ahhhhh i was at the mall today... as sucky as our mall is, it has a hot topic so it's not toobad... I got my long awaited "We're all mad here" retarded cheshire cat shirt, and a SPONGEBOB BABY TEE.... aw I love it, man. Its yellow and theres this huge picture of spongebob's cute face. He's so... cute. haha I love spongebob.

We gave Lauren and Brandi a ride tonight... hmm, remember Cameron? That one guy I was obsessed with who was *soooo* hot last year? Ergh, I saw him tonight... he smokes pot now, he gained like a shitload of acne and got a funny haircut, and he like, has a speech impedemint or something... never..mind... oh, and he didn't remember me, or where he lived. ("rememeber, i met you in stormstown" "where'sat??" "you dont know where stormstown is?" "huh?")

.....yeah.

Um, so who changed? I want Jes's hair... and so many people got tan! Andrea, Whitney, ... everyone I saw looked so good... Sasha has her hair curly now, Kendra looks really good... uh, all the guys looked the same, haha. Lauren knobloch actually looked the same, so did Kassi. Kassi still randomly doesn't like me but does, I dunno. It was like... all these people up and died over the summer, and here they all are! CONOR WAS THE LION haha it was great, I was his ho. Sean Brannigan like followed me around for a bit(?) I didn't see yuri, although he said he was going to be there... he claimed he was with Will West like the whole night... I saw Will many times but no Yuri. I said hi to Tim, and he gave me that look that says "i want to kill you. don't talk to me. i'll kill you"... hmm, some things never changed, he'd even look at me like that when we were together sometimes... I wore that vanilla stuff ... the body spray, and every time I smell it, I feel like it's last year again... but it's ...so not last year. My clock on the computer says 11:26 but I know for a fact that it'slike, 2 in the morning... and I need to get some sleep, well, write about things in the othah diary (nothing bad, haha just perthonal thtuff I can't write in here)... I wonder where Maria is? I have so much to tell her... and I'm sure she's got stuff to tellme too. I got her postcard! she needs the zip code though... Mar, my zip is 16870...

well, I'm off... love ya...

Liz

ah wait I need to add stuff... well, I read some entries from last year... and... I miss 8th grade... I miss how laid back everyone was, I miss how noone cared and noone was ever all over me for being "two faced" or anything that i don't know what it means like that... blargh, and also in the older entries I'm like "Fern! i love you! blargh!" um, I want to be gagged. that is horrible, why didn't anyone like, slap me, or something? haha... and, I noticed the way I write is different... because I wasn't aiming to please, for noone read my diary at the time... now I have to watch every word I saw so I don't offend anyone, honeslty- I don't want any fights, and I'm so tired of people getting pissed off at things I write and other people throwing odd accusations. It's like, what? 2 in the morning? Um, ... I used to be so sensible.. now I write like "lol there was like this guy haha and yeah lol"... bandwagon,following the leader, whoever it is. Why can't I be my own person anymore? My old writing, with the excpetion of random 50 year old english obsessions- it was great. let's talk more along the lines of obsessions who are my age-ah i'm out

Liz

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