BLARGH

so I got myself grounded yesterday... yeah of all teh days to get myself grounded, yesterday was the wonderfullest, sasha knows why.

Um, I'm tired of guys. So much. All my friends get attention from them and stuff and I don't... and I'm not whining or anything, it's okay not to a lot of the time, but after a while I start to wonder why the fuck I'm not good enough for a random guy to talk to me, or someone to atleast look my way... ah whatever... I shouldn't fret, it's not like this has never happened to me.

there are some people who I was wondering why they had been so mean but now they're being really nice. They probably don't know who they are, and I guess it doesn't matter anyhow because I don't relaly have a problem with anyone right now- so of course, noone would know, unless they have a problem with me(?)

Ah, this is all so stupid, everything I write about- I'm just in a horrible mood because of a test i think i failed, a guy i like who hates me, homework i have to finish and a room i have to clean along with chores mom and dad want us to do... fuck i hate my life sometime. I know it's not the worst life, but it could be so much better. The changes are in my hands to make, and as hard as I try I still remain the same.

Ugh, Yuri just asked me "are you horny?" fuck no, I never am anymore- I'm either too happy or too sad to be horny, it seems I'm only horny when I'm bored, and lately I've just had too much to do, or think about.

I should be doing homework right now but the computer, I saw was not unhooked, and since I am not allowed on it now, I went on. Normally I don't get on until later at night.

I hate advanced geometry. I hate math all together. Fuck that whole fucking class and the fucking fuck (yes that did help me feel a bit better)

and so that guy that i liked- fuck him. as much as i'd like to say 'fuck him' and believe that im actually not caring anymore, i can't, but there's this other guy who Conor says likes me(?) first off im like "someone likes me? rock on!" and he's nice and not too bad looking either. So, we'll see... although, he is a tad on the ODD side. There are good odds and bad odds, and he's a bad odd. That's all i can say to set apart the other guy from the new guy- the other guy is odd too but it's a good odd- fuck, i only want what I can't have. I wanna be more like Lauren and not like anyone. Stupid boys,-

you know what, that's it, I'm officially a lesbian. Although the concept sickens me- it's better than CONSTANTLY BEING FUCKING STEPPED ONNNN.... yeah oops my finger slipped on the caps lock.

All the relationships I've ever been in the guy has either taken advantage of me or he just didn't give a fuck. So tired of boys. You should all die. All of you. Except for Ivan because he won't let me die, so he can't either. Speaking of him, I just noticed that I took him off my faves list for some reason like, a month ago and I'm gonna put him back on.

yeah there's really not much else on my mind besides doing homework and wishing i was gorgeous- im out

Liz

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