I'm back from Pittsburgh.

These past two days have been the most emotionally draining experiences since Aunt Helen died. Remember that? It was about a year ago. He is currently in the exact room she was then. Kinda scary. 631. I saw the waiting room where I bawled my eyes out last year for her- I was so dehydrated, my grandfather, pappy- dad cried in mcdonalds, so i did too, and then teddy stood there uncomfortably. I filled up about half my notebook with just random ramblings...

last night I called Shelby and tried to call Al and Marlee about incubus tickets, yuhknow, the concert i was going to go to- yeah they found someone to replace me even before I had called, and noone bothered to tell me "well, you were in pittsburgh so we invited rick" nahhhh they'd never raise to that level. I never knew them to. whatever, gurlayz, fuck you too. it's not like we're friends or anything.

Anyhow, I called Lauren tonight and finally got in touch with her, it was amazing to hear from her about State college and stuff, we're gonna hang out tomorrow and she might sleep over... we are doing things "minute by minute" as mom says, so it depends how pappy is doing- if he dies, which he is going to any day now. He's such a fighter. So many memories, they're going to sell the house. It's like there was this cloud of depression over me, and it's so tough to get it to go away. i go through stages now where i want to go to school, then i don't, then i do again- yeah, i wish ihad journalism tomorrow, it's a great class. I have choir though.

We ordered a yearbook at school night tonight, or whatever it was called.

I'm kinda disgruntled and tired and stuff. So what the hell sets me apart?

dad is being such an asshole... yeah i haven't been in a good mood since the football game a week ago... uh, cya

Liz

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