lately I've been talking about death with people. It seems like everyone can relate, which is so good- we can talk about our experiences with how we dealt, nothing is ever easy when something so loved is lost.

I still don't believe it. As much as my whole family has grieved- in McDonald's, in the hospital, in the old folk's home, when one of us would start crying, the others would follow suit- all except for Teddy. I have no idea how this weekend is going to turn out. The whole family- This person means more to me than anything before. It's still not settled in that he's gone, I can't comprehend going there and him not being there, no pappy, no television on, no grammy yelling at pappy, -nothing, the house is a shell, they're not in it. I have such a headache and I still want to practice "On Eagle's Wings" and actually try and sing it. Hopefully the organist will help me out, I'm a bit rusty due to the lack of a vocal teacher. So I'm on my own- but you know what? This is one of those things that doesn't matter how well you do it, but how much you care. He'd better hear me from heaven, -

I suppose I should go now, take out my contacts, get some juice and hit the piano, and pack- this is all so depressing and so fast, I can't digest it right now. He's gone, and I get a headache thinking about it, trying to force myself into that realization.

Not much else to say.

Liz

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