Stupid Greek Drama-well, it's done now, and you know what the best part is? That's the only drama in my life as of now. The Ancent Greek Drama, Sophocles, Antigone.

Wow, Laura is so great- but Luke is spreading rumors so I'm just like "yeah what can I say, I'm lesbian"- even though I'm really not. After the guys left on Sunday Laura and I had a full-fledged conversation about how gross girls are ( haha ).

Heeee... Ivan says my Nate entries are funny, I suppose they are, they're soo sappy because he's incredible- I was on the phone with him till like 10:30 and it would have been longer, but my parents are MEAN and they were yelling at me... soo I had to get off... hmm. He's so open with me, and- it's tough for me to be the same with him. I'm not used to it, you know? I'd always talk about how I wanted open relationships and such, but - it's not that I don't trust him, out of everyone right now I probably trust him the most ('sides Laura and Lauren that is), but I dunno. I can't just come out and tell him things about me the way he does, ah, I dunno, maybe things will work themselves out. That's the only problem right now and it's not even really a problem, I'm just stupid because he's incredible and all things good etcetc you've all heard this (haha Ivan:-P)

Today I came home and started to work on homework, because my grades aren't as great as I'd want them to be- I have a B in both Adv WC and English (weighted!!!!!)- parents were not appeased. Neither was I, to tell you the truth. I now know what kinds of graders my teachers are, though. WC is all points. Do all your homework correctly, do fairly well on tests, projects- and you'll get an A. Basically, make an effort to learn something. English, do the assignments and participate in class. A. I can do that. I talked to the science teacher- you need to make real effort in that class, he says I'll get a C this marking period- (GOOD!!!!!)- I plan on studying hard for the last test. I want to show him I'm not stupid, I'm not an idiot and that I do give a shit about what happens to me academically. Math- I still have no idea what I have in that class- but I worked hard. I got all the homework in and did moderately well on the tests and paid attention in class and took notes- I deserve atleast a high B. I'm not very worried about my grade in there. If I have a C, - how could I have a C?? I worked too hard for a C.

I have an A in journalism, but he can kiss my frosh ass just like the rest of them, die. Die now.

ahhh it's 11:11- wish, no, no wishes. I stopped wishing for things and then things started happening. Hum.

My dad is an asshole. My mom is too. They - ugg, I'm not going to wish death upon them, but THEY COULD BE NICER ABOUT EVERYTHING- dad was all angry about my WC grade, mom screams about stupid shit- don't they understand, I'm NOT their problem child. TEDDY is. I'm good, I do my work right when I get home, I don't yell back, I never start fights, I'm independant, I let them know where I am, I don't do drugs, I don't kick the shit out of people at school and get detentions- TEDDY does. I don't have deep-rooted psychological problems (or atleast, I don't anymore)- but he does, and he's so obviously screaming out for help- the way he stands in the hall staring at nothing, the things he says sometimes, how sad he is when he thinks noone is noticing it, damnit there's nothing I can do- BUT THEY CAN DO SOMETHING. Don't they give a fuck?! I do! But I'm only 14 and there's nothing I can do about Teddy, I've given up on talking to him,- It's no use, he tells me nothing. He used to open up but THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON that I don't even know about, who the hell else is there to tell? He's 12.

twelve.

Damn, when I was 12- heh. 12 was fun.

MY BIRTHDAY IS ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!:-D I'll be 15, yay:-D

My boobs shrunk. they used to be all big and nice and crap and now they're teeny and nonexistent. Pooh. I want like- that miracle boob gel- you know, the stuff people put on themselves and their boobs magically grow overnight-

(I KNOW that doesn't really happen. Wishful thinking.)

Hmmm... I have geometry homework and I have to pick out what I'm wearing tomorow and I have to remember to bring gym clothes and set my alarm clock, and take ADVIL tomorow morning (I forgot it today:/) and look for Lauren, I never see her:-(, and ask Laura something- ahhh... hehhe, I have it all under control, I swear.

I want dad to drive me to school tomorow morning, I really don't like my bus. Nooone talks to me and they all think I'm a lesbian anyway, and they make fun of me a lot- I suppose it's not too big of a deal, I'll live, it's what 20 minutes? And the morning isn't even bad at all. It's just... unpleasant, so to say- I try so hard to keep positive now, because any negative influence in my life I've noticed affects my schoolwork (like when my grandfather died, I just stopped working and took a nose dive). Also, negative influences make me tired, so I sleep instead of work. But- the bus thing isn't that big or whatnot, so I'll live.

Aren't you proud of me? That was like what, 4 solid paragraphs of other things than Nate. I could write 5 solid paragraphs just about him, I'm sure- he's this huge positive influence, and I'm still in the whole phase of "hey, something good happened to me!"- yeah, and also he's one of the best people I know- seriously, he's so nice and honest and doesn't play games and doesn't say things and do others or vice versa. I can't really remember being able to just hang out or have good, solid conversations with Tim or Trevor or anyone- it was all making out and- molestation. He's so incredible for the sole reason that I can talk to him about basically anything and he won't think I'm stupid or cocky or a bitch (within reason). Because, he doesn't judge people like that. -you know what? I need to shut up, I really do.

Doodoodoo- Abby and Conor are soo cute,I was talking to her today and he like pushed me away and gave her this HUGE hug- I wasn't offended at all because it was soo cute- they're such a good couple, nomatter what anyone says.

It's also cute how Andy comes and visits Laura at lunch. Aww:-)

I wonder what's going on with Lauren and Tom? Hum, I wonder what's going on with Lauren? We need to do some catching up, we never see each other:-(.

But, I think we are hanging out this weekend- definitely a plus.

Overall-LIFE IS GOOD.

Liz

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