"That cat has ass"

"what?"

"nothing"

"oh."

Things are going great. Lauren's not mad at me:-D... I was just interpreting what she said wrong, we talked on the phone for a while... guys are beeing assfucks to her, I hope things get better

WOW tomorow is going to be great- FINALLY friday. I have to call Laura, erm, she says Andy and Luke are going (we are walking downtown then going to Laura's to uh, have fun). Yes. Lauren might be able to go, we shall see, that would be sweet, and Karrin will come too? Hmm, as long as there is someone for Luke to talk to, then again, we will be talking to Luke, so yes. We were going to go to Hooters, but Laura and I decided that we wanted the guys' attention, so no. I dunno. It'll be fun though...

Sometimes I feel as if I'm losing my identity. I seem so simple, so passionless sometimes- like nothing matters- in a good way. I'm trying to find the right words to say. Fuck, I can't even write anymore, I can't phrase this- I always could. Maybe, maybe Tori Amos just makes me feel this way- last year this music empowered me, and it still does to an extent, - music can make you and break you. Spark, Tori Amos- Rasperry Swirl, Tori Amos. Beautiful. More and more I feel the same, last year I'd wonder why I was different, what set me apart from everyone else- and now I'm the same. Either way, I feel like I should dissect it and wonder why it is the way things are. I had myself going there for a minute- I had myself fooled, there's this image, this person I desperately want to be- but I can't. I can only be me, and I'm the same as everyone else, I listen to the same music, I talk the same lingo, their clone. God, this song is so beautiful- Pretty Good Year, Tori Amos. Whatever happened with Abbie? She seems so angry now, maybe it's only at me. What can I say? I tried. Tori Amos is the reason I wanted to learn how to play the piano, and Abbie is the reason I even heard of Tori Amos. I'm confusing myself. I haven't thought this, been here, for a while. I know who I am, this isn't one of those "Who am I? Why am I here?" things- I feel like - I'm not what I want to be(?) or what I was- I miss last year sometimes. Do you become what you hate? I secretly hated them. The pretty faces with the boyfriends and the good lives and all the friends, do I feel sick now? I feel so empty. No, no -full of these memories- they molded me, right now, this is molding me. I'm thinking about... skating camp... summer of 2001. That was a kick in the face, horribly. I can feel the bass reverberate through me. This is a remix, the original didn't sound like this.

wow, Liz, die, right now.

(hey, look, Nate is online..)

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