hmmm

If any of you are like me, and keep hitting the "Your Buddy List" link and get frustrated because you see no red- well, here is some red, I have stuff to talk about too.

I need help. How do you get over someone, but not get over them, just not be obsessed? I am so... so so so obsessed with Nate and this is BAD. Or, maybe I'm not, you know, I went nowhere besides Wegmens today and did nothing, which left all day for me to think about him/talk to him on the phone, and think about song lyrics that remind me of him- half of which are in my profile on AIM. I talked to Laura and Lauren on the phone as well, we're gonna see Harry Potter with my family, then the guys are coming over to my house- haha people are coming over to my house! this is like, wow. It has not happened very much before, - shit mom is home-

anyway- Lauren can't come to the movie because her mom won't let her. MY mom won't let me have more than 2 guys tomorow, of which being Nate and Andy, who will be there- so Lauren will be there too? me and Nate can hang out with her because, well I don't want to do anything with him tomorrow. Friday was more than enough and we don't need to start basing our relationship on that.

(been there-done that-not a good idea)

yeah, so Andy and Laura have things to talk over and they can do that, while me Lauren and Nate chill. It should be fun.

"I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you-"

damnit. there is no way I'm going to screw this up (like I have before) and turn an otherwise good relationship into a make-out session. So, I'm going to boycott it for like...the next two weeks or something. We will TALK like we always did before. We can talk. We get along really well and can talk about anything. It's getting to the point where I'd rather talk to him on the phone instead of face to face, so I don't have the temptation to... rape him, like I kinda did Friday. But, he helped, he raped me more than I raped him, so there. But yes- there is my little problem, other than being mad obsessed and a tad confused. I guess, I don't want him to see me that way- all the other guys that did took serious advantage of it. Honestly, I don't think he would- he's not like that. Still.

"I think about you all the time, but I don't need the same- If it's lonely where you are, come back down..."

It should be fun to hang out with Laura tomorow, although we wanted to do something with Lauren too- her mom never lets her do anything, and it sucks. She's so great to hang out with. People have recently been saying things to the effect of "You only try with Nate- don't ignore people for Nate- keep your friends, too-" but, I do. I have Lauren and Laura and the kids in my classes that I talk to, and Andy and Luke are my friends, I think? Abby and Kelly and Marlee at lunch- I don't often ignore people for Nate. I do try with my friends, and as... 'outlandish'... as it may seem, I do hang out with other people besides him.

"You're in my mind, all of the time, I know that's not enough..."

Grandma called tonight. She remembered my birthday was recently, and even remembered I had turned fifteen. You have no idea how happy that made me. It was so nice to talk to her. She talked about Thanksgiving and how everyone is coming up to our house. I really can't wait to see everyone, I hope even Mike and Amy come- man! I miss our family being happy. The last many times I saw my mom's side, we were all mourning. Hopefully we will be cheerier on thanksgiving- pappy will be there in spirit- I know he will.

I still have to clean the bathroom, and my room- man, they're so messy.

I have a headache, and I'm tired. Not that tired, though.

I wonder how the YMCA thing went tonight? That shall be the first thing I ask Shelby tomorow.

I should go clean. Yep.

Or, I'll get advice from Nick. He's a good kid.

Well, I'm out-

Liz

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