It's Fridayy...

Laura and Nate are still gone, but luckilly Lauren is still here, and so me and her are gonna go window-christmasly-shop tonight, we have no money, and such. It's been a while since me and Lauren have just hung out, it should be really fun.

It's kinda funny when you ask someone a personal-ish question, and instead of them saying "I don't feel like answering this, sorry", they get all mad and insult you. Kinda like the can-Tim-get-a-boner thing. His anger led me to believe that he couldn't. Hun, you know who you are- and it's okay if you don't masturbate, no one cares. You didn't have to answer my question, and you didn't have to go be yourself on me either. He has all his lil friends say stuff about it, then he puts it in his profile. Man, I don't care enough to make room in my profile for you! "the picture of you and Nate grosses me out! EWWW mental pictureeee!!". right! "I wasn't mean to you, you were mean to me-DO YOU NOT UNDERSTANDDD!" uh, no, I don't, babe! Sorry!:-)

From downstairs: "MRREEOWWW" exclaims Spaz

Dad says: "that's a cat, a pretty cat, and his name is SPAZ"

I felt so bad for Shady yesterday- she's HUGE and my family had fun realizing it. When she walked away to go downstairs- ah, it's so funny. Her hind legs are all teeny and close together, and then there's her stomach that bulges out into infinity. She really has gotten so big. She's become sluggish as well, in that she just sits around and does nothing, unlike her usual. Spaz has been very energetic, and Tugger- she's a sweetie, I love that cat. She lays in my room and purrs to herself about nothing. She's getting old.

I talked to mom last night, after talking to dad. I had ranted angrilly to him about pressure and school and what I am expected to be, and how my teachers, or certain teachers are treating a 9th grade class like a college course. He got the angry part, then I went upstairs. Hours later, after I signed offline, I was downstairs with mom. It was just me and her- we talked about people, and school, and she asks "Dad says you're frustrated with school... what's up?" I gave her some details, then some more, then I got really in to it... then just started crying, about everything I'm expected to do, and how I can't do it, and how I'm tired of learning, and learning, and projects that are coming up. I started to tell her about this one project, where we have to write an autobiography about someone in our family who has influenced us. I had already chosen to do my grandfather (the one who recently died). I said, "I want to do the autobiography on him so much, but no one knows the details of his early life, only he did, and he's-dead"... this opened up so many doors inside of me, saying that. Obviously, I haven't yet come to terms with it. That's it, why I'm always tired, why I'm sad sometimes for seeminlgy no reason. It's always been in the back of my mind, and I don't want to bring it back, I don't want to pick the scab. I did, I opened it last night without meaning to- and everything is so clear now. I'm going to feel better, I'm going to get over this. There are so many other details, but I feel strange writing them in here. I know a lot of people read my diary, I'm not sure why, but it happens. I guess it gives people something to do- I know so, because that's half the reason I read people's diaries.

It's kinda strange how secretly, you're praised for going against something or someone- how, someone would say to you "no one has had the courage to say that to them, it's good that you did" which translates to -"he finally realizes not everyone likes him, but hey, we're in each other's profiles and we are not fighting, better you than me!". It's also annoying how this one person constantly has a romantic interest, and he uses her friends to get to her. Many, many times over, he's used and stepped on. I know, for I've been under that foot more than I care to talk about. He will deny it to everyone and they will believe him and dislike me- but that's alright. The only people that matter are the ones he has no influence over. He knows inside that he is lying. That is what keeps me confident in my beliefs.

State College boggles my mind sometimes- how people can switch friends and groups so quickly. I like having the same friends over a long period of time, how could you say you're so close to someone if you've only known them for a month? Especially after you ditched the last person? Maria and Emily- since 3rd grade, I moved, and we are still strong. I couldn't EVER imagine us not being friends, or me ditching them, or them ditching me. This is why I like Laura and Lauren so much. They're perfect long-term friends. Man, I've known Lauren since I moved here, and we're still so tight. Laura I've known for a while, and just recently we started hanging out, but I know I'm not going to wake up one day and think "HEY! I don't want to be her friend anymore!"

Unlike so many, the names in my profile are not interchangable.

I need to work out some today, I've seriously been slacking off, and the holidays are coming, eek! Fooood... ahaha.

You know, i think I might go take a bike ride today. It's been a while since I bothered to leave the house- and I really should, our neighborhood is so secluded and pretty, why not? Maybe Teddy will go with me, he's so fun to be around.

So here goes: I'll clean the bathroom, take a shower, go on a walk/ride my bike, clean my room or work on homework or something, and go to the mall with my lil gift certificate. I honestly can't wait to hang out with Lauren, it'll be kinda like the Summer when we'd go downtown and get I.C. Spices at Panera and laugh about stupid stuff.

I wonder what Laura and Nate are up to? I miss them. They both said they'd call me when they get back, but Nate is gonna go snowboard or something. Laura, on the other hand, has time for me- so maybe me, her and Lauren could have a sleepover or something. I still have a camera:-D. that last time with the digital one was crazy- they're so fun... haha.

I think I'll get some pepsi and go in a chat room or something, I did that last night and it was funny watching people fight

thanksgiving break- ahhh

Liz

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