"NATE! go die!"

was my main thought for the day. He was being meannish today at lunch, which was, well, mean, and not nice, and whatnot, but it is pushing me in the right direction- to get over him.

Some fun stuff happened today. I tried to make (mental) note of it so I'd have something positive to write about. We had to do an in-class assemsment essay in English. We had to write about something and use grammar. I wrote about miss Jane John Waremen (whose father declared the whole town senile when he was 12) and her trip to get ice cream, which ended with her hair burning off. I hope, if nothing else, I get points for creativity.

There are some new kids in choir. I feel so bad for them, noone who lives here even knows half the class let alone someone who just moved here- but that's alright, State College rocks!

Miss Allen is funny, kinda, she tries to be a lot, but that's okay. She's nice. (Andrea told me she marks the papers to show that she graded them and didn't mark one of Andrea's papers, so poor Andrea got no points. Gah! I didn't know Miss Allen did that).

We had a science test and I failed. Should I care? It's kinda sad that I don't anymore.

lunch-... was odd. I had my pictures with me so people were flocking around looking at them. I sat with Marlee, Meg, and them- they're real nice. Meg got me a cookie! I love her! I did what I said I was going to- I talked to Nate. I got him when he was alone, too. I did a good job that far! And, see, I had everything I was planning on saying in my head- my level of confidence, my words, all planned out, but when I got to him- blah. Nothing. I stuttered a little then said something like "you...uh, lied!" and he- I dunno. I eventually got out what I meant to say- and he was kinda passive about it and near the end he was flat-out rude so I just left. Someone asked him if he was mad at me, and he said "no, but she keeps talking to me!"- um, that was the first time I initiated any sort of conversation since Friday. So Nate? Go die.

6th period was interesting. I have a study hall then, with Rodkey. I went in, put my backpack on my desk and told him that I needed to go down to the office to interview people for my article in journalism with Bri Regan. Bri was at lunch, and I got a pass (eventually). I talked to T.J. while Bri ate, then we went to the office. Of course, the office people were not even remotely helpful. the principle was in, but refused to give us a quote until Thursday? Said she as too busy. Our topic was something to the effect of "why aren't S building students allowed at the N building during lunch?"- we told them that and also told them that our article was not to be published. They began squacking about the topic, giving their opinions as if they were stated fact and commenting on thigns we said, like Bri said "The Roar Store said the office made the rule, and we came to check that out"- the office ladies barraged us with statements like "No, they made it, honey, I can SWEAR to that!". They said a lot of things, and I asked if I could quote them on anything- just one thing, they could pick it and everything (we only needed one more source!)- and they said "this is only conversation, this is NOT an interview"- well, excuse me! Bri and I identified ourselves as members of journalism, we had a notebook and pen, we were obviously looking for quotes. That's exactly like the "can I say this off the record?" deal. NO. You can't. But, we did not have permission to use their quotes, and the principle shan't be un-busy until 6th period Thursday. Weird? Or what? Anyway, the bell rang, so we went to the journ hall (I needed my pass signed for Rodkey)- and of course, Rodkey was not there, he was in the computer lab. By this time the other bell had rung and he was teaching, my backpack was locked but I didn't need it for that period. I went to gym with my little pass, unclaimed by anyone, and told Miss Schall my humorous tale of woe. She didn't take the pass but sai it was alright.

Now that I knew where Rodkey was, I had to go give him the pass so he didn't think I just left, plus I needed my backpack. Doesn't it figure Nate has Rodkey 8th? Laura came with me cuz I made her, lol. Rodkey accepted the pass and gave me a key. We went upstairs, got my stuff, came back down and, by this time class was in session again- gah. Laura and I walk in, I see Jayne Horner's little rattish head whip around to Nate, who was behind her, and I knew exactly what she was saying - "Are you still going out with Liz? Good. She's a bitch. She's ugly."- aka, 'I'm a bitch who likes people when they have girlfriends, jump on them when they break up, and then get even bitchier when they don't like me back'. She's been like that for as long as I can remember. Laura and I left and went to geometry.

Lo and behold, I was right! Some people told me that Jayne was saying stuff like "Liz is so ugly nyarrah" and other Jayne-ish things that only Jayne would bother to talk about these days. They said Nate was like, defending me, in that he said "she's not ugly"- which is kinda weird and cool at the same time. Jayne needs to grow up, that's shiznat we did in middle school. If I like someone's boyfriend, okay- I'll just not do that, please, I don't do that- but Jayne always likes guys she knows are attatched and stuff (she liked him before we broke up) and waits until they have just broken up, pummels the guy with insults about the girl, assuming the guy's gonna cave in and like her. Has it worked fer ya yet? Nope.

Haha I tried to tell her off. It was sucky. I'm bad at that. I like just... telling the person sensibly what's going on and ask them what they think- but, see, you can't do that with her... oh well.

I remember when I fell asleep after school today, I had a dream- it was complex but I remember certain parts, like walking with Mr. Rodkey into the new hallway. He was holding my crumpled up pass with 2 signatures on it (his and Mr. Thompson's). He asked "You and Nate a thing?" I said "No", and I don't remember anything before or after that, just- my subconsious finally getting over Nate, too, I guess. I was in the bus too- later on in this dream. It was dark and I was in the back, working on a computer that was plugged into the wall. I wrote and type and wrote and typed something important, it was long, tedious, and then the girl who was sitting infront of my pulled the plug out of the wall and it was all gone. I was- wow, incredibly angry. This girl, if I'm right in guessing this is her, she actually exists and she really is on my bus. She's always been so cool though. The bus was dark, and- like we were travelling at night, it was deathly quiet. I had been on this bus before in the dream, but I don't remember any details.

Later on in the dream I was at a meeting, it was either a funeral, or something to do with a trial. There were wooden - what are they called- those stands people stand at to speak, give speeches, that kinda thing. There were a lot of those, and raised wooden desks for people to sit in- like, anyone watch the VMAs, when eminem performed, he came out of one. Matt Lachman may have been there? It was strange.

I woke up not being able to feel half my hand, like the last two or three fingers starting at my pinky. Weird. And, my wrist. I sat up and rotated them, wiggled them, I felt the blood rush back and everything was all good. I fixed my arm in a position so I wouldn't knock it out again- then I fell back asleep. I woke up literally 2 minutes later and my hand was numb again, except I have no idea what made it do that, I wasn't on it, nothing was constricting it. I ujst got totally up and changed, ate something and went online.

My contacts are still in. I should take them out soon. And, get more - what is it called? frosted flakes.

My memory has been so horrible lately. I can't remember words or even 'frosted flakes'- is there something wrong with me...?

like, just today in the office with Bri, I forgot the word - well, now I forget this word again, but I forgot 2 words... let's see if I can remember them- "qualified" I think, no, not qualified, something else, and - I'll remember it later, probably.

This is gonna bother me for a while...

I can't remember Jes's last name either- not Jes R- but Bart's Jes- sigh. What is uppp with me.

(Peter says that his Jes is the only one who spells it with one S. So, I talked to Jess on the phone last night)

My shoulder hurts.. bahhh

PennStateSB82: poke him and go "alright bitch im gonna give you 3 options. A- I kick your ass for dumping her B- I cut off your balls and send them to your future inlaws 3. You apologize"

I know Sean's messed up and stuff but he said he'd do that to Nate for me, and i know he won't but it's kinda funny to think about it like that.

shelby told me to DL this song by Mistah Timberlake... "cry me a river"- so im switching computers...love ya...

Liz

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