Well, that new song supposedly by the guy from the old smashing pumpkins and some other people, well, that wasn't it- of course it fucking wasn't! when the DJ announced the other song, he just said "smashing pumpkins"- I WISH I WOULD HAVE CAUGHT THE TITLE. Hell. I think it was 'drown' BUT OF COURSE YOU CANT DOWNLOAD MUSIC ON THE IMAC.

I can't get over Nate. I just can't. I won't let myself move on, first off, and he's Nate. He's .. ofuckit, you all know what Nate was to me, and I know too, NOBODY NEEDS REMINDED.

It seems like I'm depressed all the time, and I don't even know it. I've learned to just live with being depressed, so I don't even notice that I am. I suppose this happens around this time every year. I think it was Shelby's diary with the quote.. "nothing gold can stay"

what goes up. must come down.

I can't even be very happy anymore without the fear of it going away-

Part of me likes this- isn't that weird?

Anyway

I am so tired of school, testing, homework, essays, projects IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT AND I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. I'm sure most of you feel the same way.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE.

and I hate guys who give you damned mixed signals AM I NOT FUCKING HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, AM I TOO FAT OR UGLY OR RETARDED OR DOES MY GDDAMNED PERSONALITY SUCK? nonono not nate. i know why i canthave nate. this is the other guys- and you know what? GUYS DO DESERVE TO BE GENERALIZED. I DONT CARE HOW GOOD YOU ARE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, NOONE HAS EVER BEEN GOOD TO ME- AND I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS OPINION.

there you are, not talking to me, acting differently - not as if we never were, but acting just as you should- as if we aren't anything, and we're not. i'm aware of this. your eyes are so beautiful, but they're not on me anymore.

I'm talking to... Chris Salera, this is helping my nate situation, weird huh? if chris movedhere, i'd probably like... go out with him again (given he has grown a bit) and totally get over nate, just because chris was before nate... nate is.. a version of chris, thats why i liked him, wow liz go die

i think i will..well no... but im gonna leave anyway

Liz

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