Today was a- well

today could have sucked, you know. I've come to the conclusion that nomatter what happens, it's your choice whether to make it an overall good day or not.

I found out why I can't get or befriend any normal guys... I'm always trying to impress those guys, so I "vogue"- meaning, I get serious and try to be "hot". I gave it up on the bus today with some preppy guys Darryl was bringing home, and we had fun. I watched them play cards.

the shirt I have on makes my boobs look big. I wear a 34C now. I'm growing. Yesshhh

Dannce tomorow. I'm going to Andrea's after school, then we are meeting Lauren (IM SO EXCITED TO SEE HER TOMORROW I MISSED HER!!!). And...we're gonna get ready, go to dance- and then I think sleep over at her house? We were GONNA do my house, but "mom isn't home so we can't"

OHHH man. I hope it doesn't snow the dance out tomorrow. I'LL BE MAD. I don't even have a date! Well, here's my date story-

I was going as friends with Adam Rhodes because I figured I wouldn't get anyone else and Adam's a fun guy, so whatever. Then I jokingly asked Zack, but we're not, it was just a stupid thing. THEN Andrea and Ngoni try to hook me up with TJ (Andrea's going with Cameron, so it just made sense). I don't know. This was our conversation, to the best of my memory:

tj: Do you wanna go to the dance with me?

Liz: sure

tj: well I ain't gonna be there

Liz: haha ok

tj: we could hang out instead

tj: but you already got your dress so

Liz: yeah :explains dress situation

tj: ahh cool

Liz: yeahh

Something like that. Andrea says she thinks he's gonna end up going. Well- now I'm going with Bruno, because his plans with Lauren fell through- so we're going as friends. Bruno's a fun guy, so I have no doubts the dance will be great.

Today- I was in a great mood despite all the bad things that tried to change it. I had a headacehe, I lost my purse, dad decided we couldn't go to pizza hut anymore, and other such things. Wellll tonight we went to Giant- I got my Valentines some gifts (he he he) and I got some new make-up. HONESTLY. If I found a purse, I'd bring it STRAIGHT to the office. NO. Some dumbass decided to keep my half-used make up and such. There was no money, no cell phone, THANK GOD. just make up.

Anyway. Then we went to the school elective thing. WELL. There are allll these 8th graders there. Teddy and I walk around looking at various displays. GUESS who I see- come on, who don't I want to see. The ONLY other 9th grader there out of a class of 650something.

Nate.

Yeah it was WONDERFUL. he watched me walk by with my brother. He was standing at the tech ed place while dad and I were talking about Driver's Ed. I glanced over. For a split second, Nate looked like a girl- a damn pretty one at that. His hair was all wavy and shiny in hs face and I thought. hey. I wish I looked like him.. except maybe a tad girlier. Y'know, narrower jaw bones and eyebrows and we're set. Wow! He'd be a really hot girl!

Anyway, then we went to Target. Dad forgot to get cat litter at Giant, so, we went to Target, yes. I saw Abby who was buying a gift for Chelsae. I'll have to wish her happy birthday tomorrow:-). On valentine's day! That's so great! Anyway... I went and stood with dad, and then Andrea walks by... dad leaves, so Andrea and I go to look for Teddy. Hehe, it was funny. We asked Erik and he didn't know- so we found Teddy wandering around randomly, not necessarily looking for anything ( he was supposed to be looking for me)- but. We found him, and I left.

I'm in a great mood- a very "Holiday" mood. I've got valentines and candy to give to people, I'm excited to go to the dance and have fun- I'm really pulling myself out of this depression. The air in Target today made me really happy- it was bursting with holiday shoppers and whatnot. I KNOW it's only Valentine's day, but it's special to me. I was a vegetable all through Christmas, and had no spirit at all- it's coming back to me now. I'm happy, I'm psyched, I'm gonna have fun tomorrow and not lose any more make up.

I'm never putting that much trust into someone again. I'm never feeling the way I did for him for anyone else until I'm 25. That was the last straw, and it messed me up for 2 months.

Hehe Luke has a girlfriend- Jayne. They actually look really good together, I'm not even kidding! I'm happy for both of them.

Tomorrow is gonna be great, I can feel it. Today felt like a day before Summer or something- nah, not that extent... it felt like the day before holiday break. Everyone was happy and excited and whatnot. I hope tomorrow is better! And you know what? I won't even be a bit jealous of those couples exchanging gifts and being lovey-dovey...you know why? I'm happy with where I am. I've never had a real valentine anyway, so who cares? I have some amazing friends, guys and girls, and we'll have a great time tomorrow just being happy for whatever reason we can muster.

I have an odd craving for orange juice.

Grrrrrr I have the map and the social studies packet to do still. Ugg. I don't want to do it. I'm in a let's-go-pack-for-Andrea's-and-get-ready-for-tomorrow mood.

I painted my nails pink last night. They didn't match my outfit today at ALL- it was funny. I liked the shirt though, hehe it is hotness.

AHHH I can't want to see Andrea, Jes and Sasha's dresses- they're all from Express and everyone knows Express makes cool dresses. Sasha's not too happy with me right now but that's okay, I still wanna see her dress.

I wish I could go and just get this homework done and have the weight off my shoulders.

I wanna unlock my diary, because this entry was happy and I'm feeling more like myself. I don't even care about those people who wrote in my comments box anymore. If they're not willing to say proudly who they are and their opinion of me disliking Nate- then they probably don't truly believe in what they said. So... i'm not even gonna worry about it.

Vitaly told TJ that I like "anything that has a penis" which is why he wouldn't hook up with me. That's nooottt true. I can name many guys who I could have if I wanted ( I knowww that's cocky, I'm sorry) and I'm PRETTY sure they have penises. Not that I want to know or anything. But, the point is, I'm not easy like that, I'm not desperate. I DO get hit on- by ugly guys- and weirdos- and I won't give them a second glance, my standards are too high. That's probably why I'm single right now, but it's cool. I'm becoming happy with where I am in life.

It's about 10 now. I should go downstairs and do my homework.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! iiii won't update until maybe Saturday, or Sunday- depends if I get online. Ahhh, you know what? Life is good, and i believe it.

Liz

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