I'm exhausted and confused

I love track. I love it. I love how everyone in it is so great and supportive, I love how nice the middle schoolers are.

One girl made my day. She says to me as we are running, "Hey, you look familiar... did you run track last year?" me: "Yeah, I did... I ran the 400" girl:"OH! Now I remember you, you're an amazing sprinter!"

That definitely made my day...week...

But, track is amazing.

Afterwards we went to Hi-Way pizza, which I am never going to again because they now put 100 pounds of oregano in THEIR pizza, too. It sucks.

Then to church for Ash Wednesday.

It's lent now, which means no meat on Fridays and some things to give up. The church gave us a small rock to take and keep in our pockets, to remind ourselves of lent and...the season, I guess.

There some people who... were mean, and I let it get to me for a while. It died down, but a few are still at it. Hey guys. Give it up. Stop being so...angry. How could you possibly smile, laugh, omit any positivity? I don't deserve what you did to me and are still trying to do. I know the truth, and it is that I am innocent. Go on being angry, see where that gets you. I'm fine, and I'm happy.

There's....someone I want to get online, and I don't think he will. I kind of ignore him during school. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid to talk to him? Spring break is coming soon, so I won't have this weird problem...

SPRING BREAK IS GONNA ROCK. I'll be with my friends most of the time.. (Andrea is gonna help me dye my hair? I think I'll help her too if she chooses to do it). It will be great. We'll get to see the guys a lot. Cameron says he is babysitting? Maybe we can go over and help, (yeah, if me and Andrea go, I'll end up babysitting while they...) No, I'm seriously kidding. They're not like that, they don't go making out infront of people like some people do. (points at self)

Yeah, seeing as I've, you know, made out with people recently...nope. Been pretty sterile, alone. But, I sorta like it. Who has time for a boyfriend now? Well, some people do, but I don't. Track, homework that I just barely do and a social life- boys? Yeah they're fun to look at, flirt with, but otherwise... blah.

Sean and I are talking again, we're so weird like that. For months we just... won't talk, and then we talk again. He gets perverted and I back off, we don't talk, and then we talk again. He's actually alright.

Those endorphines really do a number for you- I feel great, but I should get some sleep, although my outline is not done.

Daria is on Noggin at 9:30... we have digital cable now, which is mad amazing, (free from dad's work since he works at adelphia)and, powerlink, or something. It's great... the internet doesn't seem any faster, but there are so many channels, up to 900something.

Teddy wanted porno. It was pay-per-view, ruined his hour. (but not his day. Dad brought home McDonald's)

I need sleep for track. Today when we were sprinting I was gonna pass out... but saved energy to do a good sprint at the end. Infront of coach Swope. Ever since last year when she told me I had the build to be a good 400 runner, I've... felt like she believes in me, like I can be something more than just another track runner. Right now I have no endurance, and I'm tired too much.. I need to chill and get some sleep. Work hard. Force myself, because I want to get better. I want to be really good at track this year, go to meets, AWAY meets...and districts. I can do this, I know I can.

Well, I'm so tired... I'm out...

Liz

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