despite how fun tonight was and how great cameron keenan and bruno are and how amazing andrea is for influencing me to be a better person, and think more about the ways of people...

im still so depressed

i dont think its about peter or jes or any of them, this is ...i dunno. im talking to him. he knows this gets me down, youd thinki woudltn want them knowing this, but it's okay. we're all people... theres something not right

and it's not this

i don't even know if it's the fact that...yes. thats it, this is it

even though she's going out with eric, nate and sasha hang out. I blame her for so much, in the end of that one. kicking her ass would be wonderful... the bitch. i could go on and on, but this pent up anger... i can't write, i can only feel, which is in now way translatable to words.

i know translatable is not a word

im so tired

and i dont want to go to pittsburgh

im so depressed, so fucking depressed. nobody knows, really. i hide it.

i want peter to take this out of his profile,i want them to go hang out with their group

DAMNIT, I DONT WANT NATE TO HANG OUT WITH THEM...THIS IS ALL MY FUCKING FAULT. I WISH I WOULD HAVE NEVER MET HIM, FUCK, IT COULDHAVE BEEN ANYONE ..ANY GUY, AND SASHA WOULD HAVE POUNCED ON HIM

what is she trying to prove... i want her to move back to California where she belongs with all the anorexic sluts who take each other's boyfriends out of insecurity.

most of the reason i dislike things about me...was the way she poisoned me into feeling this way. every day on the bus, she'd tell me of someone else who hated me, more shit people were talking about me about how she "defended" me. she lied so much, and I believed her. She is someone I will never feel comfortable about because...well. You can't quite feel wonderful about someone you want to kick the shit out of.

no wonder jes is so insecure, with 'friends' like sasha who attatch themselves to you like a parasite, with every intention of slowly bringing you down, unnoticed until you've hit rock bottom

maybe that's not even it. something else is nagging at me

I'm tired

that's prboably it

I'm single but whatever

Liz

I'm not any better than them, hating her. this will consume me.

i want away from all of this

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