so, the L WORD

"talk to me"

"what do you want me to talk about?"

"I don't know, I...don't care. I just want to hear your voice."

"well, I made a realization. do you want to hear it?"

"sure, go for it..."

"I love you very much."

"....."

"I have proof."

"oh?"

"yeah."

"alright."

"I love your personality, I love the way you are, I love the way you look, I love the way you-"

and at this point, I was freaking out inside my head and I don't remember everything else he said about me, but there was more.

and, and I don't want to say it until I mean it; I can't even think it without hoping I'm just being naive.- naive in the way I, uh, "loved" Nate.

"but it's not even been a month"-given we had hung out a lot before that -"and that's something that SHOULD BE so meaningful and deep, something that should take much longer to form"

"I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's alright though."

maybe you don't need months and months to know something like that? maybe you just...know. when you're with them; you just know.

and I've thought about the thing that was said to me last night. and it's true, you know, ...assuming Matt and I are together for a long time, I'll look back and think- haha, remmber that time, that we fooled around in the backseat of the jeep and LEFT THE AC ON for 2 hours and the BATTERY DIED and we had to call goins to come get us??

or, the time we snuck into days inn and played in the pool

or, the time I used my bra as a hairtie, and he took pictures of it on his phone,

or the time where we just sat and did nothing and it was awesome and incredible

or that other time we sat and did nothing and it was still amazingly fun.

***

and I don't know...maybe I'll say it back; maybe I'll mean it. Really.

***

piture day tomorrow! you know, it's like our last SCHOOL PICTURE ever.

well, I have homework and I am tired. The world is a good place at the moment. Goodnight.

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