sooo tonight was sweet
matt came over and he was like, lets go to goins's, i told him we would
and i was like. ugh. its boring when we just go to chill, but we did anyway
we get there and hatchet is there with goins and we're like...blah lets go to aaron simpsons
and so we go there and its pretty chill, only he's home and we drink some and yaknow im a one beer queer, and erin is like teaching me how to use a gun and being drunk and all i think, MAN i wish hillary was me right now! and i could be her! for just right now so aaron could teach her how to shoot a gun!
and that happened once more, when he lifted his shirt to clean something wtih it and i was like, man i wish hillary could see through my eyes, she'd like this.
and it was pretty awesome, im not gonna lie and try and be one of those poser clean kids...i love being drunk, i do. i hate being high-
YEA LIKE FRIDAY, FRIDAY WAS THE SHIT. it was me hillary and jessie and we went to goins's and hatchet and goins obviously and matt price and simpson and my awesome boyfriend were there and jen came later- and we all chilled EXCEPT i took one freaking hit off a blunt and got high and i hate it, but it was a crazyfucking night
sooo much crazy stuff happened- and even more when i fell asleep on the couch! oohh i wanna talk about it, but i shouldnt, and my girls know what i mean...ahahah jessie and hillary...
but yea i just dont like smoking, the reason i do it sometimes is cos i think, well its not that bad, everyone likes it! i should too...then i feel sick and go to sleep in some random couch or chair
oh yea that courtlyn girl was there too. 10am- "FREIJI!....FREIIIIIIJIIIIIIIIII gimme a RIIIDEEE"
matt..matt matt matt..... I...can't even describe how amazing he is.
haha nick is trying to...wow
so i IMed him and said, yo you and jessie would be amazing...i have an amazing relationship, don't you want that to?
and hes all, thats not what i hear
no one has said SHIT. matt and i, are perfect, down to the littlest detail, we are amazing, we are- HE IS- so perfect.
nicktheeslick: i am glad you're so secure, it's good, sort of, just like faith
nicktheeslick: sooooooooo
THpandex4U87: i dunno if you mean that or not? but it really is, and i am
nicktheeslick: oooooooook
nicktheeslick: anyway
nicktheeslick: im done conversing with you
THpandex4U87: cool
and i AM so secure, and have so much faith, in Matt and I... I do! SO much more than nick can EVER touch, ever. Matt is my loven, my everything- nick's little arguments and brain twisters just can't work
on my two points.
one of which being- nick and jessie would be perfect if he'd set aside all his mental ailments and realize she's the only one he loves enough to go back to all the time AND to sing to cos he never even sang to me when i asked him
and 2- matt and i are purely perfect and amazing and NO ONE can touch that
so. there.
:-)

i have homework to do but i'm not worried, i know i'll get it done, hah its likemidnight
OH I STARTED MY PERIOD!! YAY NO BABY!
man that was SO ridiculous
oh me and andrea are talking! it's cool because she's really cool and i can really relate to her a lot on the whole...Lance thing, you know, being infatuated beyond belief and whatnot. and she was talking about in her diary how "her and lance are stronger than what her parents were saying"- and matt and i haven't been together as long as her and lance, but i understood that totally. you get through shit, you know? because you're so close and know each other really well, and you're attatched, and you just love everything about them....i get it.
you know, i really am so happy that i'm at peace with those people i used to "hate". cos i didn't really "hate" them- i was just afraid of them. andrea and sasha really used to intimidate me like mad, but now that we're cool, it's so much better. and i really like it.
well i DID say...nick you should be with jessie you fagass loser
well the first part was different but the last was the same, i called him a fagass loser, cos he IS for not seeing him and jessie together!
IIII feel bad cos the only time hillary called me and i wasn't at work or my phone wasn't in someone's car hat i wasn't in was tonight and it was in the other room and i could HEAR IT but my mouth was VERY busy and could not talk, and now shes away. BOO!
man i have fucking homework to do, but i DID decide i was going to penn state so it doesn't REALLY matter??? noooo i should do it
man i love matt
thats what all my thoughts come down to really, like i'll think about something totally random and SOMEHOW it will come to...wow, i love my boyfriend, he is so perfect, how did i get so lucky? and sometimes I just look at him and i'm in awe
and we got to sleep in hatchet's bed on friday and it was amazing- him being the last thing i see at night and the first thing in the morning, i loved sleeping near him...last night was so lonely because he went home and i was all alone without him in my big bed.
and we say the "L" word now sometimes, and i ADORE it when he says it, it's amazing, like this huge rush, hearing him say that.
and i remember..how i used to feel about sleeping with people, i hate being in the same bed as someoen else, they snore, they toss and turn,<<but i LOVE sleeping with matt. he doesn't really snore and i don't care if he tosses or turns, which he normally doesn't do.
gah. he has such a hot body.
dammit i hate german
i need the creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedit
hm...food
would be nice
and homework getting done also
Dam Mit.

OH saturday matt and i saw the grudge, not gonna lie, it kinda sucked, but ....i really liked sitting there with him, it was like, we didn't know anyone else there even though the theater was packed full so it was just me and him, his hand on my leg, or in my hand, and i dont know...just one of those little things that means a lot.
AND we did something after, oh YEA we went to my house and i fell asleep...sweet.
welllll ive been writing this for a while. i think ill go eat and do homework and figure out what im wearing...i havent been to school in 4 days now! ahaha

0 comments so far