Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it seems as if they're here to stay,...

yeah. We sung that song in music, amazing how it relates to me.

so he thinks I am obsessed with him. Possibly in a malicious way. He says that nothing I say is nice (or something to that effect), but based on the situation, I'd say I have a small, maybe barely there, but still existing excuse. I just can't talk to this person anymore. It's always another complaint about me, or a mean word followed by a "I was just kidding, Liz, geez! Calm down." Today, on the radio they played one of those dumb songs he made me listen to once, so I turned it off. I'm starting to hate him. It's like a hot coal and ice, when one is put up to your skin (let's say it's the ice) and it gets really cold, but quick as a flash it's pulled away and the coal is being rubbed against you. And, while you're still trying to get used to the heat, the ice is shoved onto your skin once again. That's what it is like. As soon as I was fooled into thinking everything was alright, it wasn't. You know that self confidence thing, how everyone has a problem with it? For once i thought maybe I didn't, maybe I had some self confidence and I liked the image I had of myself... but in a freckly flash of light it was all torn away, why do these things happen to me? Why do I get involved with these kinds of people?

And I know it's all my fault. I know I'm paranoid, and I know I react before I think. I know some of the things you say I interpret wrong, and I know I'm not always pleasant. I know I'm a bitch, and not fun to be around anymore. I know I'm me. All you said was it wasn't my fault... so I am in truth everything else? Thanks.

so I lie to her. Yea, because he'l dore even more damage on me for the truth. how can she know that there's something wrong? We're talking via IM. and I can't tell her! The truth hurts her, the truth hurts him and in turn will hurt me as well. Does she know? How can I do what? I'll die if she ever finds out!!! (I might not die... but I'll be really unhappy for a few days)

I was due for something bad to happen.

She doesn't know. Good. It's odd, I think she's a bit psychic.

Forlorn? Probably. I hate being around him. He sucks up all my energy then uses it to taunt me. I feel so weak.

Was in a mood? And that;s why you wanted me to talk to you about this situation? Wonderful. If you're in a mood then keep me out, please. If you're in a mean mood, keep away from me, if you're tired or depressed I want nothing to do with it, and if I hear one more rant about her I swear I'll scream.

Okay, okay, now that that's out, I feel better. Pictures tomorrow!! I'm wearing -

DAAAHHHHHH stop talking about her!!!

Anyway, I'm wearing my red pants with the design on the top, and an amazing black shirt i got from TJ Maxx. It's a boat neck, a bit above my collar bone, its got a quarter sleeve and the left side has that pully strap thing. I love it! Does anyone have some duct tape, so i can show my belly, but tape over my belly-button, Abbie says that it's not technically midriff, you can't see the belly button! *snicker*

Kassi called. She's only a dtiz like, 22/7. She was serious tonight, we talked about Drama and school pictures. You take them whenever you have Social Studies, that be period 7 for me!!! Sigh. I'm happy I don't have gym, there is NO WAY I'd take a school picture with my face all shiny!!

No more thongs. Sigh. Mom needs to do laundry!!!!!!!!!

There;s so much shit I want to say, I'm going to make you listen to me, Ivan, the diary is bored.

talk to ya'll later

(_iz

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